


A.M.

by zalacious



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotions, Escort Harry, Love, M/M, Sad, Smut, businessman Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 20:48:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 34,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11448786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zalacious/pseuds/zalacious
Summary: All that it was supposed to be about was teasing, pleasing and, Harry doing his job as a male escort. Nothing more and nothing less, but you know that that's not the case - it never is, especially when someone like Zayn comes into his life as a new client





	1. Alluring

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 'A.M.' by One Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> al·lur·ing
> 
> /əˈlo͝oriNG/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _powerfully and mysteriously attractive or fascinating; seductive._

"And why should I hire _you_? What have you got to offer?" The woman who sat opposite Harry asked. She was busy going through some papers, not really taking him too seriously.

Harry's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Well why _shouldn't_ you, sweetheart?" He shrugged off his leather jacket so that he could show off his arms, purposefully flexing them and, then resting his elbows on the table in front of him. "I mean I'm clean, healthy, fit." He gestured to his medical reports that she was looking at. Harry was good looking, and he knew that, and, he knew that other people thought the same. Nice strong features, good toned body, cheeky, flirtatious personality. After five minutes of meeting someone he would have them comfortably wrapped around his finger.

"Honestly? You look like some college hipster kid that's trying too hard."

"Ouch." Harry pouted and clutched at his chest. "You don't mince your words, do you?" He smirked.

"I've built a reputable nightclub here,"

Ha, ' _nightclub_ '. Harry smiled at the word used for the whore house he currently sat in.

"Only the best of the best will be hired to keep my clientele satisfied."

Harry thumbed his bottom lip.

The woman sitting in front of him must have been in her mid forties, pale skin, bright orange/red hair and dressed in a tight black women's suit.  
"Vivian, I know you're the best - that's why I'm here.. all I'm asking for is a chance." Harry said in his charming voice. He had heard about this 'nightclub' from friend's at his previous job, where he worked as a kitchen cleaner in an upmarket restaurant.

_"Have you seen Jessa lately?"_

_"Bro. She's rolling in it now, bagged herself a nice little sugar daddy from Silk that takes care of everything for her. He paid off ALL her beauty school shit and bought her a new Range Rover just for the hell of it."_

_"Goddamn, I'd go for it if I didn't care so much about morals."_

_Harry stopped scrubbing the bottom of the burnt pan and eavesdropped on the waiters' conversation._

 

Vivian leaned back in her leather chair and crossed her legs, not missing Harry's green eyes quickly darting from her hips to heels. "How old are you?" She was not careless enough to skip over the date of birth section, but wanted to see if Harry would be honest with her.

Harry bit the corner of his lip and grinned, "twenty - five." He said lowly, as if he had just told her a secret.

"Try again." Vivian smirked back.

Harry sighed and smoothed his hands over the mahogany table, his smile still present - but softer on his lips. "Twenty - one." He gazed up up her when she didn't say anything. "I'm legal." He persuaded with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"You are," Vivian chuckled lightly. "But very young.. Maybe one of my youngest."

Harry felt pride in that. He loved standing out from others in any sort of way that he could. "I thought someone like you who owned a place like this would looove the young ones, you know, snatch them up while they're in bloom, train them, mould them to what you want?" He said resting his chin in his hand.

"I do have a conscience, Harry.. I'm just wondering how someone like you would end up here."

"Sex sells, right?" He said simply. "Fast, easy money, I do what I like for a living. Everyone gets what they want."

Vivian nodded in understanding. If he knew what he wanted then why the hell not? "Here," She handed him a business card. "I'll give you a month, and by the end of June I want $5000."

"What?!" His deep voice bounced off the walls.

"You knew what you were getting yourself into, Harry. It's the starting rate for all newbies. You're free to leave now if you feel that you won't be able to -"

"No, no.. it'll be done." He said standing up. "Maybe I'll even make a little extra." He said with a little wink. "Just for you."

"Whatever you say," Vivian said whilst trying to bite back a smile so that she didn't show Harry that he was slowly rubbing off on her. "Come back tomorrow around this time and Liam will help you out with clients and whatever else you need to know about." She said and Harry nodded.

_Guess this is your new start, Styles._


	2. Brazen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bra·zen
> 
> /ˈbrāzən/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _bold and without shame._

"Thanks Liam,"

_Well, there's my guy._

A young woman, a few years older than Harry, rounded the corner and walked past him to head up to the second story. He gave her a charming smile before going to the lounge she had just exited, to meet Liam. "Uh, hi?"

"Hey, what's up, man?" A buff, brunette man in a muscle tee, jeans, and a snapback greeted Harry as he counted notes upon notes of dollars. Harry eyed the money being laid out on the small coffee table in front of the man, he snapped out of his daze when he heard him clear his throat.

"I'm Harry, you're Liam, right?" Harry asked pointing to himself and then to Liam.

"Yea, yea I am - oh yea," Liam nodded and looked up, "Viv told me you'd be coming in today."

"She did now?" Harry smirked.

"Yea. Didn't think you'd stick around when I heard you were just a kid... You Australian?" He asked, picking up on Harry's accent.

"Uhm, British, from Manchester. I just moved here a couple of months ago."

Liam smiled and nodded.

"Wanted to make a name for yourself in the City of Angels?" He asked, going back to sorting out his money.

"Yeah," Harry chuckled, "This is where everyone comes to make their dreams come true, right? ... It's just not as easy as everyone makes it out to be."

"Well you're right with that." Liam said more to himself than to Harry. "Okay," he clapped his hands together and then secured the money with rubber bands before standing. "I'm guessing, it's over a grand that you have to make?"

"Five."

Liam stood and walked to Harry, looking at him as if he was under inspection. "There's an appointment for three - thirty that you can take."

Harry looked at his watch.

_12:15_

"Here's the address." Liam handed Harry a piece of paper and left the room while he was busy reading.

"Wait, wh-"

"Hi sweetheart, I'm afraid I have some bad news.. Yea," Harry heard Liam outside the room on the phone to someone and decide to listen in. "I'm sorry I won't be able to come in today. I know, I know but we have someone new that I think you'll really like... I promise it will be worth your while, when have I ever been wrong? ... Great, he'll see you later." _Silence_  
Harry was just about to call out for Liam and go look for him when the older man walked back in with something for Harry. "Here. For later." Harry's eyes widened and he bit back a laugh and nodded before exiting the room.

***

_15:00_

Harry chewed on the inside of his cheek and tapped away on the steering wheel. He sat outside in his grey, dated Toyota and contemplated driving back to the safety of his apartment and forgetting all about his new job. He was nervous. A feeling he hadn't felt in very long time. He ran a hand through his semi long brown locks and grabbed the police hat and aviators.

_Come on Styles, this is nothing._

He twirled the toothpick his was chewing on earlier between his fingers before popping it back in between his lips and opened the car door.

_I probably look ridiculous. Why the fuck did Liam make me wear this, I'm not some sort of Magic Mike character._

By the time Harry was done talking to himself he found that he was standing in front of the immaculate white door of his first client. He took in a deep breath and raised his baton, knocking on the door three times. The door clicked and Harry stood face to face with a middle aged woman. "Yes?"

Harry was frozen for a good few seconds. His tongue slid across the toothpick and he finally shifted his weight from one foot to another. "We've received a noise complaint from you, ma'am."

"What? That's ridiculous. You must have the wrong house."

"No," He shook his head and walked into the house without any warning.

"What do you think -" Harry stopped her before she could finish and shut the door, pinning her body against it with his. It finally clicked for the woman that this was her 15:30 appointment. "Officer.."

"Shh." He pinned both of her hands above her head in one of his and peered over his glasses down at her. "Now," Harry traced her jawline with his index finger, and let it travel down to her neck, past her chest, and to her waist until it rested on the knot of her white silk gown. "Are you going to behave or do I have to use my handcuffs on you?" He asked, pulling at her robe so that it came undone - much like her who was already under Harry's spell.

"Whatever you want, officer."


	3. Carnal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> car·nal
> 
> /ˈkärnl/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _relating to physical, especially sexual, needs and activities._

"Hurry and get dressed, Harry. My husband could be home from work any moment now." Jennifer whispered into his ear and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before pulling on her own robe, about to secure it.

Harry sat on the edge of the bed and had only just got done putting on his pants when excitement flooded through his veins. He turned around and pounced on Jennifer in a matter of seconds, straddling her and gazing down with amused eyes. "Husband?"

"Harry! I'm serious! He finishes work at five -"

"And?" He took her hands in his and moved them so that they were above her head and only then noticed the huge diamond ring on her left hand. "He's still got to get through LA traffic." He said practically right against her slightly swollen lips. He ground his hips into hers, already starting to feel himself get hard again just at the thought of getting caught in such an indecent act. He reached for the handcuffs on the bedside table and swiftly handcuffed her hands to the wooden planks of her headboard. "Maybe I'll just leave you here like this," he gazed down at her still undone robe and moved it aside to expose her left breast, "naked, needy.... _aching_.. a nice little gift to your husband." He whispered, rubbing his hand down the side of her body.

"Harry! -"

He laughed and silenced her panic with a kiss. "I'm only joking, love."

She let out a relieved laugh and shook her hands gently, "Then, can you uncuff me?"

"No," Harry grinned and sat up on top of her. " _Now_ , you naughty minx," He gazed down and his features changed. His face was taught and serious. "You've made me hard again," He confessed while unzipping his pants and massaging himself while he kneeled directly above her. With wide eyes Jennifer didn't know what to make of this man above her. He was so incredibly different from Liam ... however, not in a bad way. "Suck."

*

Harry had parked a few houses away from the address that Liam had given him to not be obvious and attract attention to where he was going. He put his hair up in a haphazard bun and placed his police hat back on as he walked back to his car, swinging his car keys around his index finger. A white Mercedes that was approaching him at great speed suddenly slowed down to normal limits and the window rolled down.

_FuckFuckFuckFuck. I'm pretty sure I can get arrested for impersonating a police officer. Liam, you piece of sh-_

"Good day, officer." A blonde fifty - something year old man said and nodded to Harry.

Harry cleared his throat and put on his best American accent. "Good day." He said and gave the courtesy nod back before the man went on his way ... _right_ into the driveway Harry had **just** come out from. Harry slowed his pace and walked backwards to see a dishevelled Jennifer emerge from the house, furiously combing her fingers through her hair so that she could look presentable to her husband. He chuckled when Jennifer locked eyes with him from across the street and blew her a kiss while her husbands' back was turned.

_Good day, indeed._

***

"Harry!" Liam greeted when Harry got back to The Silk Nightclub. "Well, how did it go?"

Harry sat on the edge of the sofa with a satisfied smile as he fished for something in his pocket. He pulled out a thick wad of rolled up bills and tossed it to Liam who was busy scribbling down something in his diary planner. "Well, I guess?" He chuckled after counting the money. "Four hundred. Not bad for a newbie."

"Yea? How much does she pay you? - If you don't mind me asking."

"Seven - fifty to a grand." Liam shrugged.

"Fuuuuck." Harry groaned.

"Don't worry, the more she warms up to you, the more you'll get." Liam chuckled.

Harry screwed up his mouth and placed his hands behind his head before leaning back. "Yeah...thought she really liked me judging by how well she sucked me off -"

"Wait, _she_ sucked you off?"

"Mm," Harry wiggled his eyebrows. "Not bad too for an older woman. Don't get me wrong, I gave her what she wanted too. Her husband nearly walked in on the whole thing." He laughed and Liam nearly missed his chair, almost falling to the ground.

"WHAT?!"

"I actually ran into him on the way out, he thought I was a real cop, the tosser." Harry said and threw his head back laughing and remembering the scenario.

"That isn't funny, Harry. Jennifer's a good client that we can't afford to lose." Liam said in a stern voice struggling to find the joke in all of this.

"Yeah, don't worry, mate. I was careful. I'll continue to _be_ careful, just thought it was funny, is all."

Liam sucked in his cheeks. He knew Harry had potential but he also knew Harry was still basically a reckless kid. "Don't fuck this up Harry, not for us and not for yourself."


	4. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> de·sire
> 
> /dəˈzī(ə)r/
> 
>  
> 
> **noun**
> 
>  
> 
> _a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen._

Over the next two weeks Harry got to know more and more of Liam's clientèle and really started making a name for himself at Silk. Now, the pair sat in Liam's lounge at his cozy beach house counting the money that they made after a very busy weekend. "How much is that altogether?" Harry asked stretching.

"Over these last few weeks," He entered some numbers in the calculator, "2300."

"Shit.. I was hoping I'd at least be halfway by now." Harry huffed and rested his chin in his hand.

"Not as easy as it looks, but you're almost there." Liam smiled.

Harry laughed dryly. "Hey, uh.. when can I start finding my own clients and stuff?"

"Probably after the end of the month - that's if you make it and Viv's happy with you." Liam joked making Harry roll his eyes. "Don't worry, man. You'll make it. You just need more experience, find what you like, who you like, y'know?"

"Yeah." Harry mumbled. He was having a hard time with Liam's women. They obviously liked Liam's persona, how he treated them, and what he had to offer and it took longer to get used to someone like Harry.

"Let's get back to Silk. You can meet some of the cam girls. Maybe you'll be interested in that."

"Cam girls? Like live sex?" Harry asked as they walked to Liam's Chevy.

"Sex, striptease, go - go dancing, it all depends on what people want to see." Liam shrugged, "Then there's the hotline. I think you'll be very popular with that, because of your accent and what not."

Harry contemplated that and weighed the pros and cons.

Pros? Money.  
 _Duh._

Cons? No sex. He would get bored with things pretty fast.

***

Once back at Silk the boys found just who they were looking for in the hallway next to the lounge. "Oh, Véronique, this is Harry." Liam had said and stopped a petite girl with snow white skin and dark choppy locks.

"Oooh, oui. The new boy." She said with a thick French accent very prominent on her voice. Harry had heard of her - or rather, heard her during one of her cam sessions last week. "Is he, uhm, interested in camera working?" She asked with a giggle and tilted her head to look up at Harry.

_With you, possibly._

She was gorgeous and dainty. Her red mini dress with long bell sleeves accentuated the whole 'innocent' look and was a perfect compliment for her wide brown/green eyes.

"Oh, this is my girlfriend, Lydia." Véronique said and stopped a black girl who was coming down the stairs.

_Girlfriend?_

Harry bit his lip and took in her appearance. She had on a baby pink silk nightgown that barely covered what needed to be covered. Her long, smooth, athletic legs went on for days and Harry just couldn't stop himself from imagining what they would look like wrapped around his waist. Sharp cheekbones and full, plump lips along with long set eyelashes would have almost anyone dropping to their knees for her.

"Bonjour," She lifted a perfect manicured hand to shake Harry's own. Her voice was slightly deeper and had a more raspiness to it than Véronique's but that French accent was so beautifully there, enticing Harry even more.

"Bonjour," Harry brought her hand to his lips and kissed her chocolate skin gently before greeting Véronique in the same manner.

"Darling," Véronique draped her small arms around Lydia's waist and gazed into her dark brown eyes, "How was your session?"

"It went well, est-il nouveau?" Lydia asked, not breaking eye contact with Harry.   
_(Is he new?)_

"Oui, n'est-il pas beau?"  
 _(Yes, isn't he handsome?)_

"Mm, très."  
 _(Very)_

Liam was busy explaining what the prices were for cam sessions and how long they would last but as much as Harry tried paying attention to details, he would still steal a glance at the couple he knew were speaking about him. He didn't have the best ear for French but he did know a word or two here and there.

Lydia ran her fingers through her black and brown tight shoulder length curls and finally looked down at her girlfriend and draped a hand over her shoulders. "Voulez-vous travailler avec lui?" Véronique asked with hope in her voice and eyes.  
 _(Do you want to work with him?)_

Lydia removed her hand and glared down at Véronique, "Non, mais je peux te voir faire."  
 _(No. But i can see you do.)_

"Ne soyez pas comme ça! Je pense juste à l'argent qu'il apportera."  
,em>(Don't be like that! I'm just thinking about the money he would bring in.)

"Quoi qu'il en soit, Véronique. Fais ce que tu veux." Lydia said, clearly unimpressed before she walked away from the small group and headed back upstairs.  
 _(Whatever, Véronique. Do what you want.)_

"Vous savez peut-être si vous remplacez le bâton jusqu'à votre cul avec une bite vous seriez plus heureux!" Véronique shouted as her girlfriend waved her off.  
 _(You know maybe if you replace the stick up your ass with a dick you would be happier!)_

"What was that about?" Harry chuckled, trying to make light of whatever just transpired.

"They're always like this, it's normal." Liam shrugged.

"Uhm, Harry, if you want to try the camera sessions, come upstairs in an hour, okay? It's the second door on the left." Véronique said when she turned to face him again.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but didn't get the chance as Véronique simply strutted away from them, heading to the entertainment area.

"She probably wants you to join, Lydia most likely doesn't because she's really overprotective and a bit jealous." Liam explained.

"So this has happened before?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow.

"Many times. They have a complicated relationship that I'm not even going to _try_ to understand."

"Well, maybe I can get on Lydia's good side?"

"Good luck, bro." Liam laughed and gave him a pat on the back. "She doesn't care about anyone else besides Véronique, trust me, I've tried." Liam mumbled the last part.

_Well then, we'll see about that._

As you would expect, Harry loved a challenge - a chase. It only fuelled fire to the attraction he would feel towards someone. "I'll catch up with you later, mate." He said giving Liam a soft punch on his bicep before heading upstairs, walking up two at a time - not really caring about waiting for an hour pass like Véronique suggested.

This floor was where most of the girls and guys lived.

_Second door on the left._

Harry ran a hand through his soft curls before knocking on the door.

"Yes?"

He turned the doorknob and stuck his head in. "Can I come in?" He asked looking around the soft purple and white bedroom, not finding Lydia but hearing her voice coming from the bathroom.

"Yes." After closing the door and turning around Harry's breath hitched in his throat when his eyes landed on Lydia who was clad in a simple white lace lingerie set. "Can I help you?"

Harry pulled his pink bottom lip between his teeth and grinned while leaning against the closed door with his hands behind his back. He crossed one tan boot over another, straightening his black skinny clad legs to make himself comfortable. "I was just about to ask you the same thing." 

Lydia laughed sarcastically and turned her back to him, walking to her desk to pick up her computer camera. "I don't need your help."

Harry pushed himself off the door and Lydia heard his heavy footsteps against the wooden floors and felt the vibrations against her bare feet until he came to a stop right behind her. She could smell the clean scent of his shampoo mixed with his cologne.

"Are you sure? I could help you set up if you want?" He whispered lowly and made sure that his warm breath hit her exposed shoulder. His torso was lightly pressed up against her back, trying to get some sort of reaction from her.

"No thank you," Lydia said connecting the camera to her computer and turning it on. The image on screen showed Harry and Lydia from their lips down.

Harry grinned when he saw their reflection and placed a sweet kiss to her cheek. "We look good,"

"Of course. You're standing next to me after all." Lydia smirked but kept her eyes on screen as she continued setting up.

Harry chuckled and licked his lips before turning to look at her. He kissed her shoulder, letting his lips linger on her skin for a while, while he watched her to take note of any changes in her face. When nothing happened he gently removed her bra strap and kissed the skin from her shoulder to her back. Placing both hands on either side of the desk in front of them, trapping and keeping her in place. There was still no reaction from Lydia until Harry brushed away her soft curls and placed a wet kiss in the middle of her lower neck.

A breathy sigh finally left her lips and she immediately pushed her hips back into Harry, whose hands left the desk to finally touch her. He kissed her sweet spot again and brought his hands up to cup her breasts over her bra before harshly tugging it down, earning a gasp and exposing her to thousands of people online.

He looked at the computer screen and saw more and more people come online and leave more and more comments as the seconds ticked by. Harry unclipped her bra and let it fall to the ground before he tangled his hand in her hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling it back so that her neck was now exposed.

Moaning, Lydia reached behind her to slide her hand in Harry's jeans and start to slowly rub up and down. "Do you want this?" He asked, keeping a steady voice as pleasure coursed through his veins.

"Yes," Lydia moaned and his large hands slid up to pinch and tweak her nipples.

"Say it," Harry spoke with his lips on her cheek before sticking out his tongue and licking along her jaw.

"Jésus-Christ je veux que tu me baises!" She whined and moved her hand faster around Harry, struggling to get anywhere as his pants were still zipped and buttoned up.  
 _(Jesus Christ I want you to fuck me!)_

"I see you've started early?" A voice behind them caused them both to turn around. "I'm glad you changed your mind." Véronique said, unzipping her dress and stepping out of it before walking towards Harry and Lydia who was now on her knees in front of Harry, undoing his trousers. "Will you be able to handle both of us?" Véronique giggled sweetly as she stood behind him and slid her hands under shirt and up his smooth abs.

Harry grinned and closed his eyes when he felt Lydia's mouth around him and groaned his response as Véronique smiled sweetly at the camera and mentioned something about a new friend in French.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used Google translate for the French part so I apologise if it is horrifically wrong


	5. Erotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·rot·ic
> 
> /əˈrädik/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _of, relating to, or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement._

After Harry's little sexcapade on screen he decided that although fun and wild, it just wasn't for him and decided to leave that behind and try something new. Maybe he'd go back to it someday, but not anytime soon.

So today was Harry's first day as a phone sex operator. He had gotten a few .. _interesting_ calls with rather odd requests, but it was to be expected with a job like this, where you couldn't see the other person. It gave them the courage to ask for whatever they wanted.

He laid on the plush red love - seater and let his eyelids shut, enjoying the silence...

...which did not last for long as the shrill ringing of the telephone sounded. "Hi -"

"Hi, uhm...is this The Silk Nightclub?" A small, nervous, female voice spoke on the other end.

"It is love, my name is Harry and you are?" Harry said with a light, bored chuckle.

"Rachel.. uh? I, uhm, I'm not sure how this works but do I just ask to hire you or.."

"Well, this is the sex hotline -"

"Oh!"

Harry changed his position from lying down to sitting up. Suddenly interested in this conversation. "But uh, if you're looking for an escort?"

"Yes, you. You're perfect. Can we meet tomorrow night?"

Her eagerness took Harry by surprise, and intrigued him. "Oh, uhm, yes. Yes that's fine."

"Is nine - thirty too late?" She asked fidgeting on the line.

"Not at all, love."

"Great. Meet me at this address ...."

_This was great! This could be my first client that I found with no help whatsoever!_

Harry was over the moon with excitement and couldn't wait for his little meeting. Closer to the time he put on a plain black short sleeve button up shirt, white skinny jeans and his black leather boots.

As he walked along the sidewalk to the address he was given he marvelled at the area he was in. It looked like celebrities lived here. All the double story houses, gated communities, these people were living the life.

He stopped in front of two large wrought iron gates and was about to press the intercom when they started opening. Harry's jaw dropped slightly when he took in the mansion in front of him.

_Styles, you're gonna get paid **so** good tonight._

He walked along the smooth pathway and came to a stop when he saw a woman with her back to him sitting at a small round garden table. Harry cleared his throat announcing his presence and getting Rachel's attention. "Rachel?" He smirked and bit his lip when she turned to face him.

_God, she was gorgeous._

"Harry, hi!" Long pinstraight black hair swayed from side to side with every movement. She wore a tight black satin mini slip dress that just begged to have Harry's hands feeling it's smooth texture. The combination of her black hair and dress contrasted beautifully against her olive skin. "You're right on time." She spoke in a soft feminine voice as she hugged Harry. She was a bit shorter than most girls he had been with, not that it was of any bother to him.

_Christ_

Just feeling her curvaceous body pressed tightly against his made him want to take her right now, under the starlit sky for the entire neighbourhood to see.

"Come, sit, sit." Rachel said pulling Harry towards the table.

_Did she plan some type of .. date for us?_

Harry flashed his teeth in a wide grin. "Babe, is this a date?"

"Uh," Rachel stuttered a bit, "Okay, honestly.. I don't know how this whole thing works." She laughed and blushed at her inexperienced self, hiding her face with her hands.

_God, she's absolutely adorable._

"Are you a virgin?" Harry asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table, a coy smile playing on his face. He hasn't been with a virgin for a very very long time and wasn't sure if he could go through with it right now.

"What? No! God, no." She scoffed and laughed, throwing her hair over her shoulder to show off her exposed, ample chest.

Harry's mouth went dry when his eyes landed on her chest and as if knowing she had caught him in her trap, Rachel pushed out her chest even more. Licking his lips to make sure they were soft and moist, Harry snapped out of his daze and pushed his chair out. "Why don't you just let me take care of you tonight, baby?" He asked as he walked around the table and took her incredibly soft hair in his hands to push to one side of her neck, leaving the other side exposed. He bent down to press a warm kiss to her temple and rested his hands on her shoulders, slowly relaxing and easing her tension away. "It's my job after all." He chuckled.

He moved his hands down to her chest and, as expected, found that she was not wearing a bra. "H-Harry, the neighbours," Rachel stuttered, letting her eyes shut as Harry massaged her breasts.

"What about them?" He asked looking up but not stilling his actions. The house opposite them had no lights on at all, so it was likely that no one was home.

When Harry did stop his actions he slid one hand up and around her throat, tilting her head up to press his waiting lips to her own. As their make-out session intensified, Harry's free hand headed south, landing on Rachel's thigh before slipping under her dress and cupping her sex. Startled by this action, Rachel broke the kiss, gasping out and holding onto Harry's arm that was around her throat.

"No panties either? Such a naughty, naughty girl." He spoke lowly, dragging out the words to match the slow and steady pace of his fingers sliding along her heat. "Open," he instructed when he felt her thigh muscles contract and squeeze his hand.

Rachel did so and as soon as Harry had enough room to move, plunged two fingers into her, earning a low groan from her. "Jesus - fuck," She whined, slowly losing control of her body as her legs started shaking at the sudden intrusion. Harry heard her heel scrape roughly against the concrete and her knee hit the table leg sending a small decorative bowl that was full of water and flower buds shaking and tumbling to the floor with a harsh crash. "Fuck," Rachel squeezed her legs shut, causing Harry to stop. "Inside, inside now." She choked out, panting lightly and slid off the chair, taking Harry's hand and leading him towards the double sliding doors. Once they both stepped foot inside Harry grabbed the back of her neck pulling her towards him to passionately kiss and, try to undress her." _Nmmm_ -no, bedroom," She pleaded against his lips. "This way," Rachel giggled as Harry almost fell up the last two stairs. Once on the second floor Harry surprised her and literally swept her off her feet and made his way to the nearest bedroom - which was the grandmaster bedroom.

Once inside he gently threw her on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt. Rachel was in awe of the body before her. She eyed the tattoos that Harry had gotten years ago when he went through the whole 'rebellious teen' phase. Harry threw his shirt on the floor and sauntered closer to the edge of the bed, beckoning Rachel with his finger to come closer to him. Slowly, on all fours she crawled towards him before sitting up on her knees and wrapping her arms around his neck. He bent slightly to get a grip of the end of her dress and pulled it up and off of her body slowly, all the while keeping intense eye contact. " _Harry_ ," Rachel begged and traced his plump lips with her index finger before pushing it into his mouth. "Don't make me beg," She sighed as he sucked gently and pushed her down, crawling and leaving hot, wet kisses all over her body.

Once their lips met again he undid the button of his jeans and tugged it off before gently easing into her and building a steady pace. Soft groans and sighs of pleasure filled the room from both of them as Harry gently thrust in and out Rachel. "Harry, go harder, please." She rasped out. "I'm not made of glass. You won't break me." She said gripping his biceps gently, urging him to be rougher.

Harry smiled his signature grin and in one movement hoisted up Rachel's legs so that they now rested on his shoulders. He watched as her eyes rolled back and she gripped and pulled at the sheets as Harry sped up.

Rachel's moans and profanities got louder and louder - almost to the point of putting on an act. Harry was so wrapped up in things that he failed to hear the door open and shut downstairs until it was too late and he almost completely fell off of the bed.

"WHAT THE **FUCK** IS GOING ON IN HERE?!"


	6. Frenzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fren·zy
> 
> /ˈfrenzē/
> 
>  
> 
> **noun**
> 
>  
> 
> _a state or period of uncontrolled excitement or wild behaviour._

Shock had never graced Harry's features in his twenty - one years of life like it had right now. Blood rushed to his face as soon as he heard another voice that should not have been part of this situation. Grabbing the edge of the duvet he tugged at it to cover up his exposed member.

" **WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!** "

"WHO ARE YOU?!" Harry shouted back at the man in the doorway.

"I'M HER FATHER!!"

Harry didn't think that it was possible for his eyes to bulge out even more but it happened. He looked from Rachel to her father and the back again to see her covering her naked form with a pillow. Unlike Harry she didn't seem shocked, embarrassed, ashamed - anything a normal person would feel in this type of situation, no. Rachel had a deep sated scowl on her face as she stared down her father.

"And on my bed Rachel, Christ, what is wrong with you?!"

"Oh, fucking hell." Harry muttered to the ceiling.

"I should have sent you away to boarding school when I had the chance!"

Harry couldn't believe his luck. Sure he had joked about - **wait**.

**School.**

"School?!" His voice boomed and he raised a brow at Rachel who still hadn't said a word.

"Yes, school, she's seventeen fucking years old!"

Harry almost let the duvet fall to the floor along with his jaw.

"You can fuck every slut from the whore house and rip this family apart, so how does it feel now?! You're the reason mom left! You ruined everything!" Rachel half shouted/sobbed, finally ending her silence.

"YOU'RE **SEVENTEEN**!" Harry shouted, disregarding everything she had said. "Oh my God, _Oh.My.God._ " He mumbled and tried looking for his clothes while still keeping himself covered.

"Get out of my house!" Rachel's father yelled.

"I'm TRYING!" Harry said, throwing one hand up while he hid himself away with the other. "This is so fucked. I'm so fucked." He continued to speak to himself while the father and daughter had a shouting match about their broken family. Putting on his boxers he ran out of the room with his pants and shirt over his shoulder and shoes in one hand. "I didn't even fuck-fucking get paid!" He scolded himself as he hopped on one foot whilst trying to put his other foot into his pants leg.

With his pants finally on, he put on his socks, which were probably inside out, and slipped on his boots. Walking down the long driveway he came to harsh stop when he saw that the front gates were still closed, leaving him with no exit. He pressed his lips together in a thin line and cursed to himself. "No fucking way am I asking them for anything." Harry didn't want to see or speak to either of them ever again. He looked around for a lower fence or gate and spotted a lower single gate, that was probably used for people coming in and going out instead of vehicles, that he could easily scale and made his way towards that.

Once free from that drama house Harry leaned against a brick pillar and rested his sweaty palms on his knees. He couldn't stop replaying the scene in his head.

_What if I go to jail? What's the legal age to have sex here? I can't go to jail!!!_

He let out a laugh in disbelief and shook his head as his straightened himself and started walking towards his car. Remembering he was still shirtless, he pulled his button up from over his shoulder and put it on. As he was about to do the buttons up a car that was blaring some overplayed, annoying new songs came towards him, hooting repetitively.

"HEY STUD!" A girl with an insanely nasal voice in the passengers seat shouted as they approached him.

"DAMN DADDY, HOW ABOUT YOU GET IN WITH US AND WE GIVE YOU A RIDE YOU NEVER FORGET?" Another shouted from the backseat.

Harry shook his head, scowling slightly, and buttoned up his shirt, ignoring the crass male cat - calling and continued on his way, wanting nothing more than to just go home, take a hot shower and forget today ever happened.

***

It was a hot and humid Sunday afternoon when Liam's phone vibrated under his pillow, slowly coaxing him awake. Groaning and stirring, he searched for his phone just before it could ring off.

"Liam?"

"Yea, Viv?" He slurred slightly, running a hand down his face.

"Where's Harry?" Vivian asked in a stern tone.

"Uh, I don't know if he's coming in today, why what -"

"He's not answering his phone and I need to see him right now."

"Okay. I'll check in on him."

"Thank you, Liam." She said curtly and cut the call.

Liam sighed and threw off the thin light blue sheet that was covering his naked body. Dialling Harry's number he held it between his ear and shoulder as he made his way to his bathroom and turned on the shower letting the water run. With no answer from Harry, Liam decided to leave him a message and check his phone when he was done showering.

Harry laid with his face buried in his sad excuse of a pillow that had been folded to try and give him some sort of support. His neighbours could be heard shouting and screaming as a mother tried to control her two rambunctious children who sounded like buffalo's running up and down the corridor. A loud thudding sound forced his eyes to snap open and his thoughts went to the worst and speculated that someone was breaking in.

"Haz?" The familiar voice belonging to Liam calmed Harry's racing heart and he stood up, throwing on some grey tracksuit pants to go and see what his friend wanted.

"Hey," He greeted, clearing his throat to rid himself of the sleep evident on his voice.

"Hey man, what's up? I tried calling you a couple of times but you didn't answer." Liam said as he walked into Harry's small apartment, looking around the bare place. "Was worried something happened." He joked with a light laugh.

"Nah.. I'm okay, just had a rough night." Harry said running his hand through his hair and having his fingers get caught in a few knots.

Liam thinking Harry went out and probably had too much to drink, didn't question him further and got straight down to business. "Viv called too, she wants you to come in."

"Why?" Harry asked screwing up his face. It's Sunday. He wanted to have a day off.

"She didn't say. Want me to drive you? I have to go that way anyway?" Liam shrugged and jammed his hands into his jean pockets.

"Yea..okay, thanks. Let me just go get ready."

*

"HOW CARELESS CAN YOU BE?! I KNEW THAT IT WOULD BE A RISK TO HIRE SOMEONE SO YOUNG AND RECKLESS! WHAT WE'RE YOU THINKING. SHE'S SEVENTEEN FOR GOD'S SAKE."

"She didn't look it." Harry said defiantly and crossed his arms over his chest. Vivian was just about to pop a vein at his attitude when Harry continued to speak. "Look," He unfolded his arms, leaned forward, and dropped the attitude from his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I thought that I had everything figured out and that she was normal."

"Not good enough, Harry! Now her father is blackmailing me into letting him have one of my best girls for the entire weekend for free or else he cries rape!"

"I would never! -" Harry was a lot of things, conceited, carefree, stubborn, but rapist was not one of them.

"I know, but no one is going to believe that." Vivian said whilst massaging the bridge of her nose. "Did Liam not tell you -"

"He did, he did." Harry said shaking his head, wishing Liam was here with him instead of on his shopping trip.

"You had better find a way of paying me back because of this scumbag AND sorting out your five grand."

"It's sitting at three currently... How much more do you need?" He asked, not really wanted to know the answer to his question.

"At least another five, maybe seven, and if you can't make it then you can just leave and not bother to come back." Harry said not a word and got up. "By the end of the month Harry. You don't get any extra time to sort out this mess that you've created."

"You'll have your money." Harry assured her before walking out.

_How in the hell are you going get that much money in just over two weeks, Styles?_


	7. Galvanize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> galvanize
> 
> /ˈɡalvənʌɪz/
> 
>  
> 
> **verb**
> 
>  
> 
> _shock or excite (someone) into taking action._

Over the next few days Harry stuck to clients that were well known regulars at Silk. "Here," Harry put down three bundles of dollar bills in front of Vivian. "Five grand."

"And the rest?" She asked, focusing on whatever it was that was on the laptop in front of her instead of Harry.

"I'm working on it." He said, placing his hands behind his back.

Vivian made a clearly unimpressed face and removed her glasses before counting the money. After making sure it was indeed five thousand dollars she got out a calculator to work out Harry's share.

"Here." She said holding out a few bills.

Harry looked bewildered. "That's it? It looks like there's a thousand here?" He said taking the money and flipping the bills through his fingers.

"It's thirty - five percent of what you've made Harry. The money needs to be divided among the other workers seeing as it's their clients and not your own, plus money goes to maintenance of the club."

He wanted to scream.

"What? You didn't think that you'd just waltz in here and suddenly start making a good couple of grand all for yourself, did you? It takes a long time and hard work, Harry." Vivian said shaking her head and putting on her glasses again.

"This is barely enough for my rent, Vivian."

"If this isn't for you, you know where the door is, you're free to leave whenever it is that you want, Harry." She said in an even tone.

Harry knew he wouldn't win this so he simply left.

***

The next week Harry told Liam all about the drama he had encountered.

"Tell you what, let's go out tonight. Get a little fucked up, grab some girls, let loose and destress. You look like you could really use it." Liam said and Harry's shoulder a strong squeeze.

_Well, why the hell not?_

*

Shot after shot filled Harry's mouth and slid down his throat. The vile taste causing him to screw up his face and fight the urge to cough up whatever he had just drank.

"Wash it down with this!" Liam laughed and handed Harry a beer.

"Liam, you're going to make him sick!" Another worker and friend, Claire, said when she laid eyes on Harry.

"He'll be fine, let the kid have fun!" Liam said and waved away her concerns and ordered a few more tequila shots.

Next thing everyone knew, Harry was throwing drinks and hopping off the bar stool as soon as 24K Magic by Bruno Mars came on. "COME ON," he shouted at no one in particular and went on his way to dance.

 

"Zayn, let's just go check it out."

"I'm too old for that shit, Jeremy. Besides I'd rather do something else than have a bunch of drunk, sweaty kids pressed up against me." Zayn said and ran a hand through his soft black locks.

"You're only twenty - eight. You're not too old for a club, besides this one doesn't have that many kids there. It's more of a bar anyway, look at it as a celebration for closing a deal with Truman Corporations."

Zayn loosened his skinny black tie and pulled it over his neck, undid the three first buttons of his crisp white shirt and grabbed his car keys off the desk. "Right, let's get going then." 

 

"I'M A MOTHER FUCKING STAR BOY!" Harry sang/screamed and stuck out his foot to continue dancing, however because of the copious amount of alcohol that had been spilled on the floor, his foot slid too far forward and he unfortunately lost his balance, hitting the floor with a harsh thud.

"Fuck," Liam quickly put down his beer and rushed to Harry who was laughing loudly on the floor at his own clumsiness.

The commotion attracted a few people around them, causing them to focus on Harry and Liam, a specific person being Zayn. "He's having a good time." Zayn chuckled and sipped on his whiskey whilst watching Liam attempt (and fail) to get Harry to his feet.

"Haz, are you okay, man?" Liam asked, kneeling down.

"I'm having such a fucking blast." Harry giggled loudly. "Thank you for bringing me to this place!"

"Fuuuuck," Jeremy groaned.

"What?" Zayn asked following his friend and business partners' line of vision and spotting a beautiful Asian girl.

"That's Viv's girl." He said shuffling in his seat, adjusting the growing bulge in his pants.

"You're still fucking around with them?" Zayn laughed into his glass before finishing off his drink.

"Just because you decided to settle down before your life had even started!" Jeremy said and jokingly slapped Zayn's knee.

"Whatever, I'm going to get another drink, you want another?" He asked standing up and shrugging off his black suit jacket.

"Nah, I'm good." Jeremy said as he stood up, finished the last of his vodka and made his way over to his 'friend.'

"You gotta be careful." Liam laughed lightly and pulled Harry up by his elbow.

With the alcohol at an all time high, Harry barely had any control of his movements and coordination anymore and so as soon as he was on his feet, his legs started to wobble, unable to carry his weight and he stumbled back - right into a solid object. Zayn steadied himself so that he and Harry wouldn't go tumbling to the ground and put a firm hand on his shoulder to help Liam steady the drunk man.

"Sorry, sorry." Harry held up a hand and then placed it on Zayn's chest to give him an apologetic pat.

"Sorry." Liam apologised again.

"It's alright." Zayn said giving both of them a nod and sliding his lean body past them and to the bar.

"Okay," Liam slung Harry's arm over his shoulders and put an arm around his waist to keep him upright. "We should get you home."

"No, fuck you. I'm having fun." Harry slurred and tried to get away from Liam.

"Hey guys," Liam took Harry back to the bar and made him rest against the counter. "I think I'm gonna take him home before he really hurts himself." He said to the rest of the group.

Harry who was busy trying his hardest not to black out, felt the entire room start to spin. He groaned and tried to drown out the loud music and voices when his ears picked up on a voice right next to him. They were ordering a whiskey. Just the thought of the drink made him feel nauseous. Too heavy to lift his head up anymore, he folded his arms on the counter to serve as a headrest as he forced his eyes to stay open and focused on the legs to the side of him. His eyes widened and he wondered if he was starting to see double when the person next to him pulled out a thick black wallet.

"Shit," Harry breathed out. Forcing his body up he looked at the person and saw that it was a man with warm brown skin, black hair and a very nice suit.

_Maybe I can just steal his wallet and run._

"Hi!" Harry shouted over the music in an almost sing - song tone.

"Hi, again." Zayn chuckled and took in Harry's appearance. A black sheer button up shirt and leather pants all tied together with gold boots. Zayn smiled to himself at Harry's fashion sense, not seeing many people be so bold and out there with their fashion choices.

_Again? When did I ever meet this guy?_

"Harry," He said with a friendly smile and stuck out his hand.

"Zayn."

"Haz, let's go." Liam said from his other side.

"No, no. I wanna stay, I'm fine." Harry lied. He wasn't fine. He was seeing Liam sway from side to side in blurry vision but so desperately tried to look, sound and, act sober.

"Nah, come on, I'll drive you." Liam said, not budging.

"Liam," Harry gritted his teeth and pulled his friend closer to him so that he could whisper on his ear, "I think I found a really good potential client." He said and subtly nodded over his shoulder.

"Harry," Liam raised his eyebrows in concern, "you don't even know him."

"I know that he's fucking loaded! Let me just try and see what he's about!" Harry pleaded. Zayn walked away but not before stealing one quick glance at Harry and Liam. "Maybe he can be my sugar daddy." Harry half joked.

Liam stared on in disbelief and a part of Harry shared that disbelief too.

_What are you even thinking Styles? **Are** you even thinking?_


	8. Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _In English the meaning of the name Harry is: home ruler or house protector. Also can be an 'army commander.'_

"Can I get a water?" Harry leaned over the bar and shouted at the waitress.

After quickly downing the cold beverage, with some trickling down his chin, neck and chest, he desperately tried to spot Zayn. Finally finding him sitting alone at a table, sipping on his whiskey and scrolling through his phone, he straightened his shirt and made sure that his hair was in perfect place.

"Harry," Liam warned again.

"What Liam?!" Harry snapped.

"Just be careful, okay?"

"Careful of what? You act like I'm going to get kidnapped or something."

"I'm just saying that you don't know anything about this guy and you're about to go and hit on him? He could be a homophobe and -"

"I'm not actually gay Liam, but fuck it I'll be whatever it is that that guy wants me to be if it means me getting some of his money."

Liam shook his head at the floor. Harry had become like his kid brother and he worried about him. He loved Harry's 'go - getter' attitude but he feared that he was too impulsive for his own good and that one day it will get him in a lot of trouble. "And if he's not gay or bi or whatever?" He asked nodding towards Zayn.

"Well then I come back to you and we carry on having a great night." Harry said flashing his perfectly straight teeth at his older friend. "Okay, so I'm gonna go test the waters now." He said with a slight shimmy in an attempt to shake the alcohol from his system.

He walked away from the bar and up the two steps carefully to where the seating area was to meet Zayn. "Hi, mind if I sit down?" He asked with a genuine smile and tucked loose strands of hair behind his ears.

Zayn looked up from his phone and put down his drink on the small circle table that was in between the seats. He looked over to his friend, Jeremy, who was still busy talking to the Asian girl he pined after.

"Not at all. It looks like my friend's all tied up for the night anyway."

Harry followed Zayn's line of vision, or at least tried to, "Is he the one flirting with Daya? - The one in the blue shirt?"

"Yea, that's him... you know her?" Zayn asked.

"Yeah! I work with her," Harry blurted out and waited to see if Zayn knew of any of them or their line of work.

"Oh," He raised his eyebrows, "Uhm, so what do you do?" Zayn asked and turned his body to the side so that he could face Harry and rest his elbows on the table. It seemed as if he asked the question with no hidden agenda so Harry, for the life of him, couldn't tell if Zayn was in the slightest bit interested in him. Plus he was also still scrolling on his phone making minimum eye contact.

_Is he that disinterested in me?_

"I'm an estcort." Harry said, unashamed and cutting to the chase.

"Must be an interesting life."

Harry laughed and nodded, "You have no idea." Which caused Zayn to smirk. "So uhm, what do you do?" He quickly asked, wanting to avoid any awkward silences.

"I'm a CEO at Lexxon Corporations."

Harry bit and slowly pulled at the corner of his lip as soon as he heard 'CEO'. If this was a cartoon you better believe that Harry would have huge green dollar signs where his eyes are. Zayn was a CEO for the leading technological company that was known worldwide. Everyone used their products. Cellphones, laptops, tablets, watches - you name it.

"Wow," Harry said and leaned more onto the table. "For someone so young you're pretty successful."

"I worked hard and went after what I wanted." Zayn said with a relaxed shrug.

"Yeah," Harry's eyes darted to Zayn's lips to drop a subtle hint that he was interested. "That's quite a turn on for many."

Zayn picked up and, brought his glass to his lips and took a sip without breaking eye contact with Harry. "Are you flirting with me?"

Panic surged through Harry's veins and he fought the urge to look alarmed. "That depends," he lifted his head slightly.

"On?" Zayn asked, not hesitating at all.

"You. If you're interested. If it's working." He answered with a nervous yet adorable laugh.

Finally, a smile graced Zayn's lips. He leaned forward and set his empty glass down again. "I am."

_**$ JACKPOT $** _

"But not now. Not tonight." Zayn said standing up and grabbing his jacket.

Harry's smile fell and he quickly stood up, wobbling a bit. "Wait, why not? What's -"

"You're too drunk and I haven't any time left. Meet me here tomorrow at one."

"In the morning?" Harry asked incredulously.

"It's the only time that I'll be available to you." Zayn said raising a brow to see if Harry would agree or not.

"Okay." Harry nodded, feeling his palms get sweaty.

And with that Zayn left without so much as a glance back at Harry, who fell back into his chair. As soon as he had paid for his drink, said goodbye to Jeremy and left, Liam was immediately at Harry's side.

"What happened?" He asked, handing Harry another bottle of water.

A huge grin broke out on the British boys' face. "I just bagged my first client."


	9. Ineffable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in·ef·fa·ble
> 
> /inˈefəb(ə)l/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words._

The next day Harry woke at 11:30. Being one of the few, very lucky, people to wake up without a hangover, he laid in bed replaying last night. It all felt like a dream. The drinking, dancing...that guy, _what was his name? Ryan? - No, Zayn. That's it._

Zayn. Some fancy pants CEO for the biggest company known to man. Who would have thought a guy like that would be gay? Harry frowned and placed his hands under his head. He never thought this far. He'd have to _sleep_ with this guy now. He'd have to do whatever it is that he wanted because it was his job to please.

Harry had never done anything with a guy before and the inexperience and unfamiliarity made him nervous.

*

_14:45_

"Why does he want to meet you so late?"

"I donno, probably work - maybe he's married." Harry shrugged, not caring.

"At least he's not seventeen." Liam sassed, causing Harry to give him a friendly glare.

"I didn't know."

"I'm just teasing," Liam laughed. "... So..."

"So?" Harry looked up from the magazine he was absent-mindedly flipping through.

"Uuuh..."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I told you last night, I'm not gay."

"It's totally fine if you are though." Liam said hastily, not wanting to come off as judgemental. "Like, we have loads of gay workers and clients."

"And that's great, Liam." Harry said unbothered, and started to read an article about a victim of a kidnapping who developed stockholm syndrome for her abductor.

He was comfortable with who he was and _knew_ who he was. This was all just a job, it was all basically just sex with a stranger, something so many people do all the time.

This is what Harry kept repeating to himself as the time neared one.

_00:30_

Harry looked at himself in the half broken mirror in his small, dull light green bathroom. He admired his sharp features and clear skin. He had opted for wearing a pink button up shirt with white polka dots and white skinny jeans with silver boots. Spraying on some of his cologne and combing his hair to the right side he took one last look at himself before leaving.

Harry started his old car which took a few tries before spluttering to life. "Please, stay with me baby." He spoke to his car, rubbing the dash as if it was a brand new puppy he had just gotten.

He had arrived at the club to see it was at its liveliest and wondered how he and Zayn would spot each other.

_I should have given him my number or asked for his? Damn your sloppy drunk self, Styles._

Harry had parked a few meters away from the club because of all the parking spots being taken and waited to see if he could spot Zayn walking along the path. Everytime a car stopped near him he'd stare to see if it was his mystery man who'd found him by luck.

Fifteen minutes had passed and Harry grew bored. He turned on the radio and tried to find a station to listen to.

"CAN WE GET A RIDE MISTER?" A group of clearly drunk teens asked, leaning on the hood of his car.

"I'm not an Uber." Harry said with a dumb look on his face and waved the kids away. Shaking his head he leaned over on the passenger seat, opened the glove compartment and got out some gum.

"Harry?"

"FUCKING SHIT." Harry almost shouted when he heard his name and saw someone peering at him through his open window. "Who's asking?" He asked a lady who was dressed in a black button up shirt and black pencil skirt.

He looked down at his feet and tried fishing for the pack of gum he had dropped. "Mr Malik?"

"Who?" Harry asked, squinting his eyes.

_Ah, finally found the gum again._

"Uhm, Zayn, Zayn Malik?"

Harry had just slid half a piece of the strawberry bubblegum into his mouth when his hand stopped and he made eye contact with the woman again. He then ignored her and looked around for Zayn. "Where is he?"

"Follow me, Sir."

"Okay," Harry mumbled and turned on his car, or tried to. "No, no, no." He mumbled and started stomping on the gas pedal while furiously turning the keys.

"Uhm," He looked at the woman who stood smoothing her low brunette ponytail over her shoulder before politely placing her hands behind her back.

"We can give you a ride?" She suggested with a friendly smile.

Really, what choice did Harry have?

_Maybe you shouldn't be doing this and your car giving up on you is a sign?_

Harry shook the thoughts from his head and followed the woman who led him to a black 2016 BMW. She opened the back door for him and as soon as he slid in, that new car smell hit his nose and made the jealousy bubble up inside of him.

He looked next to him and felt his palms get sweaty again.

_Was Zayn wearing glasses last night? I didn't even notice his stubble..._

"Hi," Zayn chuckled at Harry who looked a little bit like Bambi with his eyes wide.

He quickly cleared his throat and told himself to relax. "Hi," His eyes darted to the front seat where Zayn's driver got in and started the car. "You don't care if people see us together?" He leaned towards Zayn and whispered.

Zayn looked at his driver and then back to Harry. "No," He leaned closer and the stale smell of cigarettes hit Harry's nose. "But if it makes you feel better all I said is that I was meeting a friend." He whispered in the same tone that Harry had to make him feel at ease.

Harry gave a nervous smile and nodded his head before breaking eye contact with Zayn and looked out of the window at the buildings passing them. He chose not to speak again and just wait to see where they were going. He had never felt this nervous in his entire life.

Zayn watched Harry who was subconsciously bobbing his leg up and down and holding onto the door handle with a death grip. This was a totally different person compared to who had met in the club last night. He too, didn't say anything to Harry and ran his first two fingers against his stubbly chin, listening to the soft radio providing a background sound to this otherwise stiff situation.

The car came to a stop, next to a lavish hotel, after twenty minutes of driving.

"Thank you, Maria. Have a good night." Zayn said to his driver.

"Thank you Mr Malik, same to you." She spoke and smiled in the rear view mirror at him.

"Come on," he said to Harry and then got out of the car.

Harry followed and lifted his head to look at the skyscraper. "So this is where you live?" He thought out loud.

"No," Zayn said and shoved his hands into his black jacket pockets. He was much more dressed down compared to when Harry saw him yesterday. A stylish zip up jacket, baggy grey jeans and back heavy combat boots adorned his body. "I just own it."

"Oh, a room?"

"The entire thing." Zayn chuckled and turned around to see if Harry was following.

_Holy fuuuuck._

"So, you do this often?" He asked, trying to figure Zayn out a bit and followed him into the spotless lobby.

"No," Zayn laughed lightly and shook his head, as if in disbelief. "This is my first time."

_Well lucky fucking me._

"Why me?" Harry asked nonchalantly but really wanting to know the answer.

Zayn pressed the elevator button and turned to look at Harry over his shoulder. "Why not?" He simply said and looked at Harry up and down, causing Harry's mouth to dry up. Once inside the elevator, Zayn pressed the button for the twelfth floor and the men stood in silence as they waited to head up. "You're nervous." Zayn spoke as he got out his key card and slipped it into the door.

"You're not?" Harry laughed.

Zayn ignored his question with a smirk.

Harry walked into the hotel room and took in the luxurious room wishing that this is what his apartment looked like.

"Here," Zayn wasted no time and handed Harry brand new, crisp hundred dollar bills. "There's a thousand there."

_A thousand. For one night. I haven't even sucked his cock yet! I don't think that this is how much he should be paying a newbie, but like fuck am I going to say anything!_

"Uh, thanks..." He shoved the money into his back pocket. "...So,"

_Fuck this is awkward._

Zayn unzipped his jacket and threw it over a maroon single seater couch.

He removed his glasses and gingerly set it on the small glass coffee table and while Harry was struggling with his own thoughts about being nervous and awkward, gently pressed his lips to Harry's.

Shocked, Harry recoiled then, realising what he's done, pulled the back of Zayn's neck towards his lips and kissed him again.

_This is your job, Styles, do it and do it well._


	10. Jitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jit·ter
> 
> /ˈjidər/
> 
>  
> 
> **noun**
> 
>  
> 
> _feelings of extreme nervousness._

Zayn could feel Harry's hands, as well as his lips, trembling against his own.

He had cupped Zayn's cheeks to hold him in place while they engaged in a soft, slow, closed mouthed kiss. Zayn tentatively brought his hands up and rested them on Harry's waist, feeling his abdomen immediately tense up upon contact. "Stop," Zayn said pulling away.

"Why?" Harry whispered and went in to kiss him again, only to have Zayn turn his face to the side so that he kissed his cheek.

"You're not comfortable with this." He explained and dropped his hands.

"I just - ..." Harry took a small step back, creating some distance between them. "I don't know what you like." He paused and thought and, then took a step forward again. "But I'm willing to find out." He said and kissed Zayn again, hearing him sigh in frustration.

_This isn't working fuckfuckfuck._

"Do you have any brandy? Just to loosen my nerves." He chuckled.

"Yea," Zayn nodded and walked to the kitchen area that was just next to the lounge. He saw the tall man stretch up to open a cabinet, his shirt sliding up to expose his toned body.

_God, he actually really is attractive._

Harry couldn't believe the effect Zayn was having on his nerves right now.

Soon enough, he came back with two glasses of the amber liquid, along with the bottle, and handed one glass to Harry who downed the entire thing in one go. "Woah -" He didn't get to finish his sentence - or his drink as Harry put down his glass and took Zayn's out of his hand and drank that all in one go too. "Slow down," Zayn cupped Harry's face with both his hands. "I don't want you to get black out drunk."

"I won't," Harry rasped, and sloppily licked his lips to get rid of the taste of alcohol. He sat down and waited for the brandy to start taking effect. Zayn followed and sat on the sofa that was diagonal to him.

Leaning forward he grabbed the bottle of brandy and took a quick swig, feeling like he needed just a little more. "You're not like my regular clients." Harry said softly, almost blushing at Zayn.

"Well then tell me, what are your regular clients like?" Zayn asked and leaned forward in his chair, sticking out his tongue to wet his baby pink lips.

Harry chuckled but kept his eyes fixed on the beauty in front of him. "Well, for one, they're women."

Zayn flashed a grin and showed off his perfect teeth. "So this is new to you?"

"Mmm," Harry hummed and nodded.

"Well, why'd you say yes?"

Harry threw his head back and laughed, further enticing his new client. "Who's dumb enough to say no to this much cash?" His bright green eyes beamed under the room light. "You're loaded, baby." He whispered and sat on the edge of his chair, "I don't care if you're a boy, girl, young or old - I'll do whatever you want if you keep paying me like this." That and the fact that Harry couldn't deny that Zayn was turning him on as the minutes ticked by. He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth before releasing it slowly and running his tongue over it.

Zayn's smile faded and Harry grew worried. "Stick out your tongue,"

"W - what?"

He leaned forward and Harry mimicked his action until their faces were just inches apart. "Do it," he whispered, urging Harry to do so. His hand slid up Harry's neck until it made its way into his long hair and pulled him closer, finally getting a taste of what he wanted since he laid eyes on him.

"You look like a God but taste like sin."

"That's rich coming from you." Harry muttered, the feeling of lust making him lightheaded. "Zayn." He drawled and stuck his tongue out again, flicking it over Zayn's lips. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

There he is. There's the guy Zayn met last night. He didn't mean to stereotype him, but he had and assumed that Harry was gay or bisexual, so hearing that he was his first male client excited Zayn.

There were so many things about Harry that enticed Zayn. Made him want to have him, taste him, _fuck_ him.

He reached forward and fisted his hand into Harry's shirt, pulling him closer, once again, connecting their lips and this time Harry was completely relaxed and actually melted into the kiss.

Standing up and lifting Harry with him, Zayn walked to the bedroom. Both men were breathing heavily as they stumbled into the dark room. Zayn searched for the switch of the bedside lamp while Harry moved from kissing his jaw to sucking and biting at his neck, feeling the effect of his actions against his thigh as Zayn's erection grew.

Finally, finding the switch and turning it on, the room was illuminated in a dull orange. Since it had been quite a while since Zayn had been here, the light bulb hadn't been changed and was now on its last leg, casting a gloomy effect on the pair.

With Harry on top of him and pinning both of his arms to the bed Zayn could tell that he enjoyed dominating others - much like Zayn did, but seeing as it was their first time together, he'd allow Harry to take charge this time.

With Harry growing more needy he ground his hips into Zayn's, wanting to feel as much friction as possible. Finally letting go off his arms, he reached for his own shirt to pull it over his head and to get Zayn out of his black t-shirt.

Once bare, he dipped his head and started leaving wet kisses along Zayn's chest, sliding purposefully slow down his body, making sure to press hard against crotch as he kissed lower, flicking his tongue over his right nipple, kissing over his abs, until he finally reached the jean waistband. He threw his hair back before swiftly undoing the zip and button of Zayn's jeans and tugging them down.

"Harry - ah," Zayn threw his head back as soon as Harry's lips were wrapped around him, his hand automatically going to his long hair to grab a fistful of it. Harry hummed and looked up to see if he was doing a good job so far - what with this being his first time doing this. "Fuck," Zayn pulled at his hair once Harry had started to bob his head up and down faster. Hallowing his cheeks to take as much of Zayn as he could caused Zayn to involuntarily buck his hips, sending the tip of his dick to hit the back of Harry's throat causing him to gag.

"Do that again and I'm going to cum all over your face." Zayn panted and Harry gave him a devilish smile after releasing him from his mouth and wiping away all traces of his spit.

He crawled back on top of Zayn, straddling him and thus putting more pressure on his already throbbing member. "Cum wherever you like," He spoke and lightly bit down on Zayn's bottom lip.

Zayn groaned into the kiss and flipped them so that he was now on top of Harry. Ignoring his torso he went straight to the bulge in his pants and unzipped it before taking Harry's length into his mouth. Harry let out shaky, uneven breaths as Zayn licked and sucked him. He was propped up on his elbows, wanting to watch Zayn. His jaw dropped as he struggled to keep his eyes from shutting and throwing his head back when Zayn sucked, and flicked his tongue over his tip.

"I'm gonna cum," Harry struggled to get out in between his heavy breathing. He gripped at the white sheets under him, wanting to tear it apart as pleasure shot through his body. Zayn continued to suck him off until hot spurts of cum shot down his throat and he heard a guttural moan followed by a string of profanities from Harry who was now flat on his back, panting heavily.

He surprised Zayn by gripping at his shoulders, pulling him back up and forcefully shoving his tongue into his mouth, getting a taste of himself. Harry's hand went to cup Zayn but he stopped him.

"You didn't cum,"

"Tomorrow. Meet me here tomorrow at the same time." Zayn said and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before doing up his jeans and putting on his shirt.

Harry sat confused. He always made sure his clients came well before him and more than once and now, Zayn says no?

"I have to go. I'll have Maria drop you off at home. Just give her your address." He left the room and came back with the key card, leaving it on the bed next to Harry.

"Wait! ...uh, my car.." Harry said suddenly remembering his old faithful.

"I'll handle it. See you tomorrow." Zayn said and left the room.

Harry heard the front door open and click shut and got out his phone.

_It's 02:45. Where does anyone have to be at this hour?_


	11. Kinky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kink·y
> 
> /ˈkiNGkē/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _involving or given to unusual sexual behaviour._

Harry was a sweaty mess. He ripped off his t-shirt, throwing it to the ground and pushed his body to keep going harder and faster.

Finally the treadmill beeped informing him that he had just finished his run. Grabbing his bottle of ice water, he doused himself in it and took a few healthy gulps.

"Good jobs. Let's go to weights." Liam said, smacking his shoulder."So," He positioned himself next to Harry to be his spotter.

"So?" Harry laid down and prepared himself to start lifting.

"How did last night go?"

_1...2...3..._

"Good," he counted as he spoke. Liam waited patiently for Harry to go into detail. He looked up at Liam's expectant face and laughed through his panting breaths. "I got a thousand bucks and all I did was give him a blow job."

_4...5...6..._

"So you really went through with it?!" Liam gasped, "Wait...holy shit, a thousand?"

"Upfront."

_7...8...9...10_

"Damn... Okay, rest." Liam said helping Harry with the dumbbell.

"I'm seeing him again today." Harry said resting his gloved hands on his rapidly rising and falling stomach.

"Wow...so you're totally comfortable with him?"

"Yea, I didn't think I would be, but I am - come on Liam, you have to admit he's good looking." He said looking at Liam's face who didn't seem to be too impressed by Zayn.

"I mean, I guess.... He's okay."

Harry rolled his eyes and rested his hands behind his head, feeling more at ease as his heart rate came down. "If I can meet up with him everyday this week that's seven grand."

"So you'd be fine with him...you know," Liam gestured with his hand and gave Harry a look.

Harry shot up and was standing just inches away from Liam in a matter of seconds. "With him what, _Lee-yuuum? **Fucking?**_ " Harry whispered and stuck out his tongue to run it 'seductively' over his top lip making Liam laugh and shove him away. Harry chuckled and fixed his messy bun. "I don't mind fucking him."

"Yea..but Harry what if he wants to fuck you?"

"Well then he gets to fuck me." Harry surprised himself by saying that. He took in a deep breath and propped his leg up on the bench next to him. "He's got the nicest hotel room - better than my apartment. I want that, I want a beach house like yours. I wanna live comfortably, maybe even send some money home to my family." Harry said sincerely and looked down as he played with his fingers. Liam had never seen this vulnerable side of him before, and he'd certainly not heard a thing about his family. "So," Harry quickly went back to his happy, cheery, cheeky self not wanting to discuss personal matters further, "He gets to have all the fun he wants with this sweet ass." He says and smacks his backside before getting back to lifting weights.

Liam feels sorry for Harry. In their short time of being together Harry's grown on him and because he's eight years older than the Brit lad, it's only natural that he sees him as a kid brother and wants the best for him. Seeing that he wants to drop the subject and push forward with his workout, Liam does just that and changes the subject to an upcoming basketball game that he has an extra ticket to.

*

_00:30_

Harry headed out to see if his car had been 'taken care of' like Zayn had said, but much to his disappointment, there was nothing... What he did see though was waiting right in front of him was the sleek black BMW. "Maria," he smirked at the woman as soon as he slid into the backseat. 

"Good evening, Harry. How are you today?" She politely asked and, kept her eyes focused on the road.

"Good, how are you?"

"I'm well, thank you." Maria then put on the radio so that Harry wouldn't have to sit in silence as they drove to Zayn's hotel.

Already with the key card in hand, Harry thanked Maria and hopped off, and headed into the lobby. Greeting the receptionist with a single nod he went to the vacant elevator and stepped in, looking at his reflection as he headed up. He wore a simple maroon cotton shirt with his ripped up black skinny jeans and black boots.

The sound of his boots coming into contact with the tiles below him bounced off the walls as he headed for room 114. "Zayn?" Harry called upon opening the door. "Hello?" He let it shut and walked around a bit. All the lights are switched on so he must have been here earlier.

Walking over to the wide window he pushed the cream curtain to the side so that he could marvel at the city at night. Hearing the door open, he only turns his head slightly to see that it's Zayn before he goes back to looking at cars whizzing past.

He greets Harry with a kiss on the cheek and immediately blindfolds him with a piece of silk cloth. Harry smiles shyly and reaches up to run his hand through Zayn's soft, fluffy hair. Still not having said a word to each other, Zayn brings up his large hand to wrap it around Harry's throat with the ring on his middle finger pressing into his adams apple. He tilts Harry's head up so that he can press his lips, which are icy to the touch, against Harry's neck, causing him to hum out his moan.

After leaving a nice little hickey that will surely match the red of Harry's shirt, Zayn takes him by the hand to lead him to the bedroom. Harry's heart is racing because of having one of his senses taken away from him, he doesn't know what to expect or how to react and he feels completely powerless. His shoulders are pushed down gently and Harry sits on the edge of the bed, next he feels light fingers start undoing the buttons of his shirt. After pushing it off of his shoulders Zayn kneels down between Harry's legs and takes his face between his hands to kiss him.

It's slow and steady at first until Harry places his hands on Zayn's hips and threads his fingers through his belt loops. Harry makes the first move to stick out his tongue and gently runs the tip of it across Zayn's lips, responding to Harry, he opens his mouth and their tongues meet gently as if for the first time, and as quickly as the kiss starts, it ends when Zayn pulls away and pushes Harry's chest, sending him falling onto his back.

Harry tried to get up again but Zayn is quick to put a firm hand on his chest to keep him down. His hand slowly moves to wrap around Harry's neck and give him a firm warning squeeze and Harry then knows not to move. He hears his footsteps leave the room and all that he can focus on is his own breathing until Zayn gets back.

The bed doesn't dip as Harry anticipated, so he wonders where on earth Zayn is and what it is that he's doing. He's just about to call out for him when he gasps out because of the ice cube being dragged along his collar bone. Zayn admires Harry's body and places his hand flat on the large butterfly/moth tattoo before sliding it down lower and lower until it's in Harry's pants and he's slowly stroking him - all the while dragging that little ice cube along his torso.

Harry's a moaning mess as soon as he starts getting jerked off and grabs the arm that Zayn's working him with, to keep him in place, but his strength is practically nonexistent because of the pleasure he currently feels and Zayn removes his hand and the ice cube.

"N-no, wait," Harry pants and removes his blindfold.

Zayn's directly above him and about to speak when Harry wraps his long legs around his hips, thus pulling him to fall on top of Harry so that he can kiss him again. He flips them over so that he's now on top and spots a whiskey glass on the bedside table that's only filled with ice.

He grins down at Zayn before ripping open his black dress shirt and undoes the button of his black slacks and tugs it off, lastly, he pulls off his shoes and socks and, finally Zayn is completely naked before him and what a sight that is. He straddles him again and reaches for the glass to get a piece of ice so that he can take out some of his own torture on Zayn. The contrasting temperatures of Harry's hot mouth and the piece of ice sends Zayn into a frenzy. "Oh my God, oh my G-" His mouth falls open and he groans as soon as Harry swirls his iced tongue around the tip of his dick and Zayn thinks he's going to cum in the next five seconds because of how sensitive he feels.

Unfortunately, what he fears happens because as soon as Harry drags his tongue along the underside of his dick, he's cumming hard and fast. Harry squeezes his eyes shut swallowing everything Zayn's got to give. He pulls away with a screwed up face hating the taste of cum. It's a weird salty taste and not at all like what he's tasted when he's been with women, yet he wipes away some that spilled from the corner of his mouth and sticks his fingers in his mouth all the while maintaining eye contact with a very sweaty Zayn.

"Ha-" Zayn doesn't get to finish because Harry's sucking him again. Very gently and very slowly, trying to coax another erection from him. The feeling is otherworldly. Zayn feels like he's about to lose his mind as he breathes heavily through his mouth. His hands are no longer in Harry's hair but spread out just below his shoulders. He's staring at the ceiling and seeing phosphenes - tiny stars of different colours slowly floating around him and he wonders if time has slowed down.

Harry can feel the tip of Zayn's dick throbbing against his tongue and knows he's about to get hard again, but remains at a steady slow pace, massaging places his mouth can't reach. "I'm gonna -" A shaky breath is released, "Harry, I'm, ah, I'm gonna cum again." Zayn barely gets out and Harry pulls away.

"Turn over," he instructs and Zayn grabs the fluffy pillow to use as support when he turns over. Harry pulls out a condom that was waiting in his pocket and Zayn's gently stroking himself with a tired arm while he waits for Harry. Harry never expected to see a tattoo on Zayn's beautiful coffee coloured skin. He grips his shoulder, positioning himself and thumbs the bird tattoo on Zayn's lower neck. "Ready?" Harry asks and rests the tip of his dick against Zayn who grunts in response and pushes himself onto Harry, causing both men to shudder.

He's so tight around Harry that he's afraid if he moves he'll break Zayn. "Harry, move," Zayn begs and pushes himself even further back. Harry does, slowly at first and then picks up speed once he's found a good rhythm.

"Fuck, fuck - oh my God." Harry groans and presses his body against Zayn as he comes undone.

Zayn's busy fisting the pillow he was biting on a few seconds ago before he's cumming for the second time that night. "Jesus," Zayn mumbles and Harry rolls off of him to lay by his side.

"How was that?" He ask and brushes his brown hair off of his sweaty forehead.

Zayn's still struggling with words so all that he can do at this moment is stretch his neck to give Harry a sweet kiss.


	12. Lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> love·ly
> 
> /ˈləvlē/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _exquisitely beautiful._

Harry could feel his eyelids getting heavy and tried to shake the sleep from his head. Before saying that it was about time that he left, Zayn beat him to it and rolled off the bed, grabbing his clothes and got dressed again. "Same time tomorrow?" Harry asked while fixing up his last button of his shirt.

"Yea," Zayn handed him his phone. "Put your number in. I'll call you and let you know if the time changes."

 _To something more normal?_ Harry thought and he smiled at that.

_Normal._

There was nothing normal about any of this.

"Your money's on the table." Zayn said putting on his blazer, looking perfectly put together - like he hadn't just gotten the life fucked out of him. "Oh, and you haven't been drinking tonight, have you?"

"No?" He chuckled and folded his arms, "Why?" Zayn checked his various blazer pockets until he found what he was looking for. He tossed a pair of keys at Harry and upon inspection, realised that it was his car keys. "My car!" Harry beamed, although fatigued. "Uhm, what was wrong with it?"

"Just needed a new battery," Zayn answered fixing his collar. "The old one was supposed to be replaced a good while back." He smiles at a blushing Harry who looks at the floor.

"Yeah...thanks.. How much was it?"

"Don't worry about it." Zayn says, getting out his own car keys and taking his phone back from Harry. "It's downstairs in the underground parking."

Harry so desperately wanted to ask where it was that he was going. Did he have a husband to get back to, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife? He hadn't paid much attention to Zayn's left hand to try and spot a wedding band and he mentally slapped himself for it.

It was currently 03:20. Could whoever Zayn was going back really need him back at this time?

"Thank you." Harry said with a genuine appreciation for his car finally getting sorted out.

"Come here," Zayn smiled and beckoned Harry with two fingers. He moved towards him and Zayn cupped his face.

Harry's hand immediately held onto Zayn's left hand. After a sweet peck he looked down and saw a gold wedding band around his left ring finger.

_There's your answer, Styles._

Zayn smiled at Harry and let his hand slowly fall down his smooth cheek before he turned and walked out of the bedroom door. Again, Harry heard the soft click of the door and knew Zayn was gone. Biting his lip he slid on his boots and walked out of the room.

There, in the lounge, in the middle of the coffee table was his payment waiting for him, another grand under his belt.

***

"So it looks like he's going to become a regular of yours?"

"Yea, I think so." Harry nodded and spoke with a mouth full of chicken chow mein.

Harry had taken Liam to his favourite Chinese restaurant he had found when he first moved to LA a couple of months back.

"Well, as long as he keeps paying you as well as he does."

"Mm," Harry nodded, "Thousand bucks is probably like simple pocket change for him anyway."

Liam chuckled at that. "Well good, hopefully you'll be out of your little apartment and can send some money home to your family."

"Mhmm," Harry nods but doesn't look up. Instead he focuses on separating the greenbeans from his meal which he feels is being ruined by it.

Liam watches him and waits to see if he'll get more than a hum out of Harry, but he doesn't.

"How did you get involved in this job, Liam?"

"Oh, uh, yea.. I was a stripper."

Harry smiles at his plate of food, picks up some noodles with his chopsticks and looks up at Liam while letting it fall into his mouth - all the while with a stupid grin on his face.

"Old Magic Mike over here." He says after chewing.

Liam jokingly rolled his eyes and told himself that he should have seen that coming.

"Yea," He says with a crooked smile and struggled with getting a good grip on his chopsticks to pick up his fried rice. "Some stuff went down at the club and the owner started dealing with drugs and wrong people and ended up getting murdered."

"Jesus.." Harry frowned.

"Yea, so a couple of friends knew Viv while we were still working there and kinda migrated to her."

Harry nodded slowly and thoughtfully and the boys shared a few seconds of silence amongst them, only having the sound of the busy restaurant around them.

"Are you happy, Haz?"

Harry looked up at Liam with slight shock on his eyes.

"Working here, with your job?"

"Oh, oh yeah. I am." He smiled and nodded. "Viv's a, uh, not that easy to please or a push over by any means, he laughed lightly, but yea... it keeps a roof over my head."

Harry wanted to talk more about Zayn but he didn't want to sound like he was obsessed with the guy. He was just such a mystery. He was really sweet and caring - what with making sure Harry was comfortable and fixing his car... but he also made it clear that he was only there for one thing and that thing was sex. No cuddling, no laying together, no wanting to be comforted like so many of his previous clients wanted, no.

Liam on the other hand thought that Harry himself was as mysterious as they come. Sure he had a charming, beautiful smile that he loved to show, but there was something else hidden under the surface of those emerald eyes that no one knew about.

*

At 01:00 Harry's phone vibrated on the armrest of the couch and he got up, ready to go thinking that it was Zayn asking him to come over but his walking slowed and his frown made its way back on his face.

 

Zayn: 02:00. I know it's late but something came up at work that needs to be sorted out right now. Let me know if you can't make it.

 

Harry: 02:00 is fine. I'll see you then

 

Harry wondered if it really was business or if it was something personal that came up. He had arrived at the hotel early, at 01:45, and upon opening the door saw a drained looking Zayn sitting on the edge of the sofa, massaging his forehead with one hand.

Harry bent over the back of the sofa and snaked his arms around Zayn's broad shoulders, pressing sweet kisses to the side of his face. He took advantage of the first top buttons that Zayn had roughly undone and let his hand fall into his shirt, feeling his toned chest.

Zayn groaned out, however not because of pleasure, but rather stress and dissatisfaction.

Harry paused and removed his hand, and pulled Zayn back so that he was resting against the backrest. Massaging his shoulders in an attempt to relieve some tension, Harry brought his face to Zayn's ear, "Tell me what you want.

Zayn, who had his eyes closed and was enjoying the feeling of Harry's large hands easing away at the knots in his shoulders, opened his eyes to look at Harry. "You. I want you. Naked. Now."

Harry didn't need to be told twice and led Zayn to the bedroom where both men started undressing. Once both were fully naked Harry was just about to sink to his knees when Zayn stopped him.

"No, on the bed. Lie down." He whispered, cupping Harry's face. Looking at him lying there, naked, breathing heavy and looking up at Zayn expectantly made Zayn want to have his name be the only thing that left those plump lips of his that he used so well. He sat on the edge of the bed on side and dipped his head to kiss Harry and slowly trail his hand down lower to grasp his dick and gently start stroking him. Harry moaned into Zayn's mouth and bucked his hips impatiently, wanting him to pick up speed, but Zayn stayed slow and broke away from the kiss, "Harry, let me fuck you?"

Harry, with his eyes closed and nose pressed against Zayn's cheek, nodded slowly and heard the top draw be opened before a foil packet being picked up sounded.

"Turn," Zayn said and placed a hand on his hip to give him a gentle shove. He hummed in response and out of nervousness and turned over to rest on his elbows and knees. With his back arched and ass in the air Zayn marvelled at his delicate skin that was free of any ink. Harry bowed his head letting his hair form a curtain over his face. He shut his eyes and kept telling himself to relax when he heard the condom packet being torn open.

Everytime he moved Zayn would watch his muscles contract. On the back of his thighs, the side of his ass, his upper back, and his triceps. "Are you okay?" He asked and gently placed a hand on his hip, stroking his hip bone with his fingers. Harry hummed and nodded slightly rocking from side to side. Zayn could see that he was nervous and thought that maybe tonight wouldn't be the night, but then Harry covered the hand on his hip with his own and turned to look up at Zayn.

 _Just relax, Harry. Relax._ He repeated like a mantra as Zayn kissed up his back and slid his hands up his sides until he was hovering above Harry kissing the back and side of his neck. Harry let his eyes roll back and brought one of his hands to wrap around himself, jerking off to the speed that Zayn was kissing him at. He moaned out loud and shut his eyes and Zayn took the opportunity to push two fingers in Harry's mouth who welcomed the digits and swirled his tongue around them.

Once slick with his saliva, Zayn went back to Harry's ass and slowly pushed one finger inside of him making Harry groan at the intrusion and bite down on his bottom lip. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Harry sighed and with time got comfortable enough so that Zayn could add another finger. "Fuuuck. _Fuck_." Harry moaned and grunted, feeling slight pleasure build up.

"Tell me to stop if it hurts." Zayn said and Harry nodded his head. Zayn's fingers had stretched out Harry as much as they could, but by no means were they enough to prepare him for the width and length of his dick.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and bit down hard on the pillow as soon as the tip of Zayn's dick pushed through. He cried out and small tears pricked the sides of his eyes. "No - no." He reached back and held Zayn's hip in place when he felt that he was about to pull back. "Keep going." He urged. Both hands were gripping at the sheets, so Zayn reached around to touch Harry in hopes to make him feel good. Harry spread his legs a little more and lifted his right leg up higher to let Zayn's strokes become deeper, and that's when Zayn hit something that made Harry's eyes shoot open. "Fuck, yes, _**yes**. Oh my God, right there_." He moaned out and Zayn grabbed both of his hips to drive into him hitting his sweet spot with every singe thrust. "Harder, Zayn harder fuck me harder." Harry begged and let his head fall onto the pillow. "Fuck," Harry mumbled incoherently as the pressure started building up in his stomach and with one final thrust from Zayn, Harry's toes curled and entire body shook as his orgasm ripped through him.

Zayn followed, cumming seconds after Harry and restrained from collapsing on him. He was about to pull away when Harry grabbed his arm and wrapped it around his waist so that Zayn had no choice but to rest his body against Harry's as they came down from their high together.

Zayn lazily kissed, licked and sucked at Harry's neck and pulled him closer into his chest, letting his rapid beating heart be felt against Harry's back. Harry, never having an orgasm that was this powerful, didn't realise that he was still holding onto Zayn's hand, found himself interlacing their fingers together and soon fell asleep in that position.


	13. Memorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mem·o·ra·ble
> 
> /ˈmem(ə)rəb(ə)l/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _worth remembering or easily remembered, especially because of being special or unusual._

Hours later Harry's eyes slowly opened to look at a white wall instead of his usual dull, grey one. The realisation that he was somewhere unfamiliar caused him to jolt upright and take in his surroundings.

He licked his dry lips and thought back to last night's events.

_Zayn?_

He turns to see an empty spot next to him and touches the cold sheets where Zayn laid just hours ago. A small part of him wished that Zayn was still around mainly because Harry was selfish and wanted to be held and have someone to hold.

He liked Zayn - or rather the small part that he knew about him. The business part of him, no small talk, or bullshit, just straight to the point. Whatever Zayn set his eyes on he made sure he would take it and have it.. Harry thought that it matched his own character well.

He doesn't even know where he left his phone because it's not in the room. It must be in the lounge - along with his money, sitting pretty and waiting for him in its usual spot. That's how the remaining days of June went. Harry and Zayn would meet up almost every night, engage in rough, hot sex and then Zayn would pay and leave.

***

"There we go, seven grand all for you, my lovely." Harry said to Vivian and laid down seven bundles of hundred dollar bills.

The redhead stopped twirling the HB pencil in between her lips and looked up at Harry. She removed her thick black framed glasses and leaned back in her chair, staring at the money.

She divided the money in half - well almost half. She pushed four of the three bundles towards Harry and kept three for herself. Harry stood with hands behind his back and a confused small smile on his face. "Uhmmm..."

"Congrats on making it the first month, Harry."

"But the worker - your girl. I cost you money -"

"Don't worry about it, it's been sorted out. You've proven yourself and shown me that you're not here to fuck me around. This is your money."

He let out a short laugh and was lost for words. "Thanks, Viv."

"No need to thank me. Make sure you put all of that money in the bank!" She shouted after him as he took a brisk walk out of her office.

*

"Well, now with your first month sorted out and a steady list of good clients you don't have to see Zayn that often anymore." Liam said and Harry nodded, taking a long drink of his Coke.

"But I'm not turning him away if he asks for me." He replied, arching his brows.

"Just be careful, Haz.."

"Of?" Harry laughed and placed his can down on the bonnet/hood of Liam's car where they currently sat, overlooking the beach. "I'm pretty sure we've figured that he's not some axe murderer by now."

"Yeah, he's a normal guy, Harry... a normal _married_ guy."

Harry's smile fell and he looked ahead at the crashing waves. "And, what's your point Liam? Like, ninety percent of our clients are married."

"I know that, and you know why that's so, right?"

"Because they're unhappy and looking for happiness that they can't achieve within the marriage, I'm not an idiot." Harry says with slight attitude.

"I'm not saying that you are one, Harry." Liam looks at him, but Harry refuses to meet his eyes. "You know what happens when people start spending more and more time together."

"It's just sex, we don't know anything interesting about each other to actually become attached."

"You're not grasping the concept of this." Liam says and shakes his head.

"Yeah, because you're fucking full of shit!"

"And you're just a stubborn kid who thinks he's got everything, and everyone figured out! I've been in this business longer than you have, Harry. I know what I'm talking about and I'm _just_ looking out for you."

"I'm not asking you too. I appreciate everything that you've done for me, but I'm not some dependent toss."

Liam ignored him and continued to speak. "It's happened to us before, Harry. Our clients get attached because we say what they want to hear, kiss them how they want to be kissed - treat them like how they should be, and then it fucking goes to their head and they're telling you that they wanna leave their spouse for you and start a family and you have to let them go. Things could get really ugly and I'm telling you this so that you can avoid it - but do whatever you want, it's your life."

_Liam's totally over thinking this entire situation. Harry things and scowls at the horizon in front of him._

***

"Hi,"

"Hi," Harry smiled into the kiss as he pushed Zayn's blazer off of his shoulders.

"Sorry I'm late," He pulls at Harry's white t-shirt and lifts it over his head. "I was just sorting out this weekend."

"What's happening this weekend?" Harry pants and makes fast work of undoing Zayn's belt.

"I have to go to New York for business." Zayn says and roughly turns Harry around to slam him chest first against the wall. Harry makes sure to arch his back and grind his ass up and down Zayn's crotch, getting him even harder than he already is. Zayn groans and traps Harry between the wall and his body, taking the belt out of his hand and nipping on his ear. "Oh, but what a perfect little tease you are."

_Perfect._

Harry laughed and turned around to wrap his arms around Zayn's neck, "I know."

_There's no one better than me and I know that._

Harry walks forward all the while kissing Zayn, making Zayn walk backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he's falling down with Harry on top of him. Fighting for dominance, the men are back and forth at flipping each other over, all the while trying to rid each other of their constricting pants.

Zayn finally gets the upper hand and has Harry's hands bound behind his back, courtesy of his belt, and is busy mercilessly thrusting into him.

"Fuck, _ah_ \- untie, _untie me_." Harry begs and turns his head to look at Zayn who licks his cherry lips and locks eyes with Harry - who's struggling to keep his open everytime Zayn hits his prostate. Tiny droplets of sweat forms on Zayn's forehead as his body temperature starts picking up. Harry keeps watching him, seeing how his face contorts from his growing pleasure, how he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and hums, or bares his teeth and grunts. "Go slower." Harry rasps. He wanted to feel every single inch of Zayn. " _Yeah_ ," Harry's eyes fluttered shut, " _Just like that_." Zayn let his hand glide up Harry's back, up his neck and latched onto his hair, tugging him up so that he was now pressed flush against Zayn's chest and Zayn was resting against the headboard.

"Ride." Zayn instructed and gave Harry's hair another tug. Harry abides and, starts riding Zayn for all he's worth. He's moaning so much and for so long that he loses control of his breathing and has to slow his movements down until he's grinding circles on Zayn's pelvis. "Fuck, yeah, keep doing that." Zayn moans and grips onto Harry's hips to guide his movements and bucks his hips up.

Harry's feeling his body become more and more sluggish and leans his head on Zayn's shoulder. Zayn feels that he's close and one more circle of Harry's hips has him and Harry both cumming at the same time.

Zayn tugs on the belt that's still around Harry's wrists and earns a tired chuckle from him, Harry, unable to speak, stares at Zayn's lips and turns his head more, to give him a lazy, sloppy kiss as an ask to please, finally, release his hands which Zayn does, and gently massages the pink indentations that are left behind before sliding down under the covers and pulling Harry with him.


	14. Naïve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> na·ive
> 
> /nīˈēv/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _(of a person or action) showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgement._

Harry doesn't sleep, no matter how much his body asks for it, he refuses. He wants to see what time Zayn leaves. His eyes are dry and feel heavy, as if they're sinking to the back of his skull.

Light. Light keeps him awake. He feels around on the bedside table for his phone.

Zayn's hand squeezes around his hip and he stirs. "Why are you still awake?"

"Why're you?" Harry whispers, not sure if Zayn was asleep this whole time or not.

_03:30_

"Go to sleep." Zayn mumbles and snuggles into his back.

"...You're staying the night?" He locks his phone and turns in Zayn's arms to face him and stare at him in the dark. It takes a while for his eyes to adjust back to the dark again but when it does he sees Zayn's eyes are comfortably shut and his mouth is pressed in a calm, even line.

Zayn chuckles tiredly, "Mm, my flight is at six so I thought I'd actually get some sleep... can't really sleep on planes." He slurs and Harry knows he's going to be knocked out pretty soon, so he stops with the questions and let's Zayn get his two hours of sleep before he's sneaking out again. He forces an arm under Zayn's so that he's able to hold him back and drifts off into a peaceful sleep.

An hour later Zayn's alarm goes off and upon hearing the first beep of the shrill sound, he grabs his phone to silence it so that it doesn't wake a serene Harry next to him. He gently removes himself from Harry's grip and makes his way to the shower. After showering, getting dressed into a fresh black suit and, making himself some breakfast, Zayn quietly heads back into the room to grab the rest of his things. But silence isn't enough to keep Harry at bay because as soon as the strong, fresh smell of Zayn's cologne hits Harry's nose, he's stirring and forcing his eyes open.

"W-why do we do that?" He slurs with half open eyes. He's still incredibly sleep ridden and his body and brain are struggling to wake up or make sense of anything.

Zayn smiles at Harry's gibberish and smooths a hand over his hair. "Go back to sleep, I'm leaving now. I might see you next week."

"Mm, wh..." Harry's head fell back onto the pillow and he moved around a bit. Zayn kissed him quickly on the lips and said a soft goodbye to him, and before he was even out the door, Harry was out like a light.

Hours later around 12:00 Harry slowly stuck out his tongue to wet his lips and tasted sugar..or was that syrup? Whatever it was it forced his eyes to open and he only then realised how hungry he was.

Seeing the door open to the ensuit he took a shower and, only caring to wear his towel, went to the kitchen to find a stack of pancakes in the oven and a bottle of syrup on the counter. He inspected the bottle seeing that this was what he tasted on Zayn.

*

That day Harry decided to leave the hotel late in the afternoon and when he returned to his own flat took it upon himself to clean it up a bit. He tried opening the window by the fire escape but, only succeeded in having it be less than half opened. He cursed at his dingy apartment for what must have been the fiftieth time since he moved in.

Going to his closet, he wanted to rid himself of last night's clothes and opted for an Arctic Monkeys band - tee and, some grey jogging shorts. While rifting through his drawer he picked up a black t-shirt that had David Bowie's face on it. He smiled at the print and raised it to his nose, smelling his sister's familiar perfume. He must have accidentally packed this with his stuff before he had left. He remembers that these were the two shirts that he and Gemma had worn when she took him to go and see his first concert, the Arctic Monkeys, at age thirteen. Smiling softly at the memory he set the Bowie shirt aside and made a mental note to soon send it back to his sister.

After cleaning up everywhere Harry went back into his lounge and basked in the rays of LA sun that shone on a patch of his garish crimson carpet. Turning on his little boom box that sat in the corner of the room, next to where he sat, he let the room be filled with the soft and beautiful voice of Norah Jones. As the song, _Don't Know Why_ , played, he folded his legs and grabbed at his brand new and, growing record collection. It wasn't much really, only three. David Bowie's 1977 Heroes, Pink Floyd's 1973 Dark Side of the Moon and lastly, Arctic Monkeys' 2013 AM.

His only wish was that he had a record player to listen to all of these.

Harry laid down, letting his curled hair fan around him and frame his face. He stared at the ceiling, frowning at the brown water marks caused by the tenant above them having a pipe burst earlier on this year. A soft mewl pulled him out of his thoughts and Harry looked up to see a fat, grey tabby cat squeeze its' large body through the window to come and sit on his window sill. Harry stared at his visitor, and it stared back at him. Their matching green eyes sparkling with wonder. He laid back down, opting to let the cat stay and, breathed in deeply. Turning his head he looked under his couch and found a big brown cockroach scurrying along. "FUCKING SHIT!" He shouted and jumped up, alerting the cat who spotted the roach and chased after it. Harry watched the cat catch and eat the insect and pulled a disgusted face. "Okay, you can stay. But keep that mouth away from me."

He abandoned his spot on the floor and was about to sit down to watch TV when his phone rang. "Hello?"

_"Hello bun, bun!"_

He fondly rolled his eyes at the childhood nickname his mum had given him because of his two front teeth which she said reminded her of her pet rabbit she had as a child.

"Hello mum,"

_"How are you, my love?"_

"I'm alright. Why are you calling now?"

_"Oh relax, Harry, I had some spare change so thought I'd use it to call my baby."_

"Mm," He leaned and, let his bum rest on his window sill. "I'm alright mum, how are you?"

_"I'm good... we miss you, when are you coming for a visit?"_

"... I don't know, maybe at the end of the year."

 _"I hope so... Are you looking after yourself, Harry? Is everything going okay?"_ Anne worried. Harry was and always will be her baby - all of her kids would always be.

"I'm fine mum, there's nothing to worry about. I'm looking after myself, settled down into a nice little apartment."

 _"That's lovely, Harry."_ Anne said and he could hear the sadness in his mother's voice. Deciding that that was more than enough talk for one day he decides to say his goodbyes.

"Alright mum, I've got to go now.. Give my love to Gemma and Dan."

_"I will, Haz... They miss you dearly..."_

Harry nods and sticks a hand in his pocket. "I miss them too."

_"Oh, Dan just walked in, do you wanna -"_

"No. No, it's fine. I've got to go, love you."

_"- Oh, alright, I love you, Harry."_

Harry didn't want to admit it but he had wished that instead of his mum calling it was Zayn saying that something happened with his trip and he no longer had to go, but alas, that wasn't the case.


	15. Oneric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> o·nei·ric
> 
> /ōˈnīrik/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _of or relating to dreams or dreaming._

Weeks had gone by after Zayn's New York trip where he hadn't tried to make any contact with Harry. Everytime Harry's phone rang he had thought that this time it was Zayn telling him to be ready and in the hotel room, sometime between midnight and three in the morning, but that wasn't the case, it was always another one of his regular clients.

One day Harry even went to the hotel asking if Zayn had come by, perhaps with someone new, but that hadn't happened either. It was as if Zayn and Harry had never even met. It was only around the end of July when Harry's phone vibrated twice that he saw that Zayn hadn't forgotten him or lost his number.

_Zayn: 01:30_

*

"Nice to see you again." Harry said in between kisses.

Zayn doesn't reply and just kisses Harry harder before things progress and both men are lying in bed, a sweaty, tired mess.

And just like that, things picked up between them all over again.

Now, it's the end of September and Harry had finally saved up enough money to move out of his old apartment into a larger one that's in a better, safer part of town.

The first thing he immediately buys for his new apartment is a record player that he's had his eye on for a few weeks. The next thing? A bed for Tom, his fat cat, who was currently passed out on his torn up old couch that previous owners left behind as Harry trudged his suitcases out of his apartment. "I'm leaving you behind if you don't get up, fatso." Harry threatens from the door but all his new friend does is roll onto his back and beckons Harry with his paw.

"You're such a lazy sack of shit." Harry huffed and walked back into the room to pick up the ball of fur, no matter what he said this cat knew that it had Harry wrapper around its' claw. "FUCK!" Harry shouted angrily when another cockroach scurried past his sneaker frantically. The sunglasses that were perched on his head inadvertently fell over his eyes from his jump and he clutched Tom close to his chest after nearly dropping him.

A box could be heard tumbling to the ground in the next room and Liam rushed out to the lounge all wide eyed. "What?!" He shouted back.

"This fucking place. I just saw another cockroach. Let's just get out of here." Harry said struggling to balance Tom and push his glasses back up again.

"Fuck you man, I thought you found a dead body or something." Liam grumbled angrily and went to get his fallen box.

"Wouldn't be surprised." Harry said to Tom before walking out to his car with Liam.

"Can it not walk or something?" Liam asked Harry, following him down the last flight of stairs.

"Doesn't want to." Harry said and adjusted Tom, whom he was holding in one arm like an infant. The cats' front paws were draped over Harry's shoulder with its head on it, looking intently at Liam before nodding off to sleep.

*

"This is some place, man. Maybe I should have approached Zayn first." Liam jokes as he looked around Harry's new spacious lounge.

"Was just my lucky day." Harry says with a snobbish smile on his face.

After Liam had left and he had unpacking the essentials, Harry decided to take a nice relaxing bath in preparation for his meeting with Zayn tonight.

*

Harry was groaning and biting down on Zayn's red tie which was serving as a gag for him as Zayn pounded into him, delivering harsh long strokes. He was desperately trying to get a good grip on the armrest of the couch but with each thrust of Zayn's hips he got shoved off more and more until he was clawing at the tiled floor of the lounge. He mumbled something around the tie and Zayn had to slow down just to hear him.

"Harder?" He panted and Harry let out a long groan, using the opportunity of stillness to scramble back up on the couch and get a good grip before Zayn picked up from where he left off, taking a fistful of Harry's hair and forcing him to arch his back.

*

"So, what is it that you do, Mr Malik?" Harry asked after catching his breath.

"You don't really want to hear about my boring job, do you?" Zayn asked, walking to the bathroom, giving Harry a nice view of his ass.

Harry bit down on his lip, not caring what Zayn just said and only hearing a faint mumble. "Hmm? Wh- no I do!" He shouted once he came to again.

"Well, I'm responsible for all of the company's worldwide sales and operations, end-to-end management of Lexxon's supply chain, sales activities, and service and support in all markets." He said like it was no big deal, walking out of the bathroom again.

"...Oh," Harry said, nodding slowly.

"It's boring, I know, I warned you." He laughed as he got dressed.

_Can't you stay, just for one night?_

"The hours must be tough?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

Harry was fishing but not getting much.

"See you tomorrow." Zayn called from the door before shutting it.

Harry, who was still laying naked on the couch simply waved once the door was shut and waited for the feeling to return to his legs before he could leave.


	16. Pleasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pleas·ing
> 
> /ˈplēziNG/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _satisfying or appealing._

Harry languidly kissed Zayn, pulling and nipping at his lips until they were slightly swollen and now a darker shade of cherry red. He grunted softly out of frustration when Zayn refused to open his mouth, giving Harry a taste of his own medicine and teasing him. Zayn smirked and Harry could feel it in the kiss. He pulled Harry even more towards him by the hips and stuck his hands under his shirt to trace up his hip bones, abs and finally snaking around his back, feeling his muscles tense with every micro - movement.

Finally, Zayn stuck out his tongue and Harry wasted no time to slip his own into Zayn's mouth and run his long fingers through Zayn's black hair. It had come to the point where this slow, cheeky, passionate kissing was enough to turn Harry on and, no foreplay was needed, all he wanted was Zayn inside of him. "Zayn," He moaned, his voice deep and husky, laced with lust. He pulled Zayn with him as he walked backwards and fell onto the bed with Zayn roughly massaging him through his jeans. He removed Harry's shirt, kissing his collar bone, both bird tattoos, down the middle of his abs and rubbed circles over his vine tattoos, turning Harry into jelly under his touch before he crawled back up again.

Zayn raked his tongue along the roof of Harry's mouth and pressed his entire body flush to the bed with his own, holding Harry's hands in each of his. " _Zayn_ ," Harry broke away from the kiss, his eyes dreamy and clouded with lust and something more. "Now. I want you now, fuck me _now_." Harry stayed on his back and quickly shoved off his shoes and unbuttoned his jeans before hastily pushing them down his legs so that he could watch Zayn undress.

With his boxers still on, Zayn thought that he'd have a bit of fun with Harry. "Do you want this?" Zayn asked, sheer dominance in his voice as he stroked himself through the thin material of his black boxer briefs. Harry nodded and licked his lips, his eyes glued to the bulge in front of him. "How bad?"

Harry's eyes flickered up to Zayn. "Make this entire hotel hear me." He answered, speaking with a strong voice.

Zayn thumbed Harry's bottom lip and gently pushed it into his mouth, feeling his tongue slowly lick up and flick at the tip of his thumb.

"Lie down." Zayn whispered and removed his finger. This is what Harry had been dreaming about, having Zayn look into his eyes while he fucked him.

Zayn crawled over Harry, nipping and biting at his neck, all the while teasing him with the tip of his dick lightly pushing into him before being removed.

" _Please_ ," Harry begged and bucked his hips up, his own erection being rubbed up against his and Zayn's body, getting hard to the point of becoming painful.

Zayn nipped at his earlobe and smoothed his hair before burying himself inside Harry, both men groaned as soon as Harry was filled to the hilt. His mouth dropped open as a silent moan left his mouth as Zayn slowly started rocking in and out.

Occasionally Zayn would whisper filthy nothings in Harry's ear making his eyes roll to the back of his head and arch his back off the bed so that Zayn could slip his arms under and hold him closer.

" _Fuck_!" Harry moaned and ripped the pillow out from under his head so that he could be more comfortable and thrust his head back. "Oh, God, Zayn. Zayn _fuck_ ," He wrapped his legs around Zayn's back to keep him in place and grabbed both his hands in each if his own, intertwining their fingers and raising them above his head. " _Slower_." Harry whispered through moans. Both their bodies were on fire, even at a slowed pace. A pace where only their hips where moving. No more moaning or words could be heard, the entire room was thick with heavy breathing and desperate sounds of need. Zayn had removed his head from being buried in the crook of Harry's neck to look at him, watch him slowly come undone before his eyes.

Harry on the other hand watched Zayn bite down on his lip and let his jaw fall open the exact moment his eyes shut. He craned his neck up to kiss him, moaning into his mouth as they both approached their highs. When the kiss was broken Zayn pressed his forehead to Harry's and focused only on this present moment in time.

"I -" Harry sucked in a sharp breath and his legs suddenly tensed around Zayn's back. He cried out loud as his orgasm, that was so powerful it brought tears of pleasure to his eyes, left him shaking under Zayn. " _Nokeepgoing_." Harry rushed and, struggled to get out when Zayn, who was worried that he had hurt Harry was about to pull out. He let go of holding onto Zayn's hands so that he could wrap his arms around his shoulders. Not a single gap was evident between their bodies as they lay against each other.

Seconds later Zayn groaned into Harry's neck and chest, cumming, and laid on top of him for a while before rolling over and hearing his own pulse thudding in his ears.

Harry laid in a daze with tears streaking down sideways and falling into his hairline and ears. He felt like he was floating on air at the moment. Neither man spoke to each other but Harry did let his hand crawl towards Zayn's on the mattress and find his own hand to hold in the aftermath of everything.

Harry wanted this moment to last forever, to live in it always for he hasn't felt happiness like this in a long, long time. Zayn leaned up on his elbow, letting Harry still hold on his hand, and bent over him to give him the sweetest kiss that Harry had ever felt.

"Are you okay?" Zayn asked cupping his cheek and Harry went to hold onto his wrist, nodding eagerly to show that he was more that just okay.

_Stay. Stay. Stay. Please, stay._

Zayn did, for a while, maybe half an hour. Just laying naked with Harry and Harry gazed over to him and wondered just what was going on in that mind of his. If he would ever feel maybe even a fraction of what was bubbling inside of Harry.


	17. Quixotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quix·ot·ic
> 
> /kwikˈsädik/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical._

Last night felt like more than just sex. Zayn had left Harry feeling euphoric, on cloud nine, and, even once he had left, Harry replayed everything. The things Zayn said, how his voice sounded, how he moved his body, and even what his face looked like as pleasure pulsed through his veins. 

Days and weeks passed by and seasons had changed, now it was the month of November with the festive spirit soon to approach everyone.

"Liam?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

The crunchy sound of the dead leaves and small twigs being crushed against his boots was oddly soothing to him. "... I really like Zayn."

"Him or his wallet?" Liam knew the answer to his question but he just wanted to make double sure and have Harry admit it.

Harry throws an annoyed glance at Liam. "Him, I like him as a person. I don't care about his money anymore." He mumbled the last part.

Liam pursed his lips and lifted the collar of his coat so that his neck would stay warm on this particular windy day. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He knew that this would happen. "It's never gonna work out, Harry, you know that, right?"

Liam looked over to his friend when he didn't reply. "He's not gonna end up leaving his husband or wife for you, Haz.. people like that never do.. They'll just use you for their own needs until they're no longer broken, that's why you gotta shove your feelings aside in a job like this. He's literally just your paycheck at the end of the day, nothing more and nothing less." Liam had constructed an image of what he perceived Zayn to be like based on the things Harry had mentioned about him, and from what he could understand, Zayn didn't give two damns about Harry.

"I can dream, right?"

"You shouldn't." Liam chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

"Why not?"

"It's a waste of time. You're only going to end up hurting yourself by fawning over something that you can't ever have." Liam didn't want to say that as harshly as he did but he didn't want to see Harry get hurt. The fact of the matter is, they both knew that this was the truth, it was just hard to accept, like swallowing a giant pill with no water.

"Haven't you ever been in love, Liam?"

_Do escorts fall in love? Are they capable of it?_

Harry used to be one of those people who didn't believe in love, didn't care about it, didn't think that it was essential to him and, then Zayn came strolling into his life and changed his mind and now he became one of those people that he would make fun of. "Are you even able to have a relationship when you're in this line of job?"

"It's difficult I admit, yeah, and yes. I have been in love. A while back though, but not with a client, never with a client - hell not even with a fellow worker... You know that you have to end things, right Harry?" Liam said and the wind picked up around them, sending leaves of orange, yellow and brown dancing around them.

"Mm," Harry replied with a curt nod but Liam did not believe him just one bit. Eager to talk about something else, Harry quickly spoke again. "I had the weirdest dream the other night." Harry said as the approached the little café they wanted to have some coffee at.

"About?" Liam asked sitting down outside the shop at the small round table.

"I was a kid, maybe ten?" Harry pulled a face and shrugged, leaning on the table. "And I was at the playground by myself... I went over to the monkey bars and everything was going fine when I heard someone call my name and distract me, and my hand missed one of the bars - and that feeling, God it was so awful, it felt so real that I woke up gripping my sheets so tightly." Harry finished and shook his head.

"Man, that's ... "

"Pretty accurate?" Harry finished for him.

"Well, -"

"Trying to grasp something I can't get a hold of." Harry smiled and his eyes dropped down to the table, looking at the bowl full of sugars and sweeteners. Even when he tries to avoid Zayn, he can't and his mind goes running back to relate something to him.

Liam didn't get a chance to reply because of the waiter standing by his side but once he left, decided against saying anything at all. After ordering their coffee a group of two couples walked past the boys. The men with their hands wrapped around their girlfriends' shoulders, talking with bright smiles on their face.

"Have you ever thought about retiring from the lifestyle, Liam?" Harry asked and stared at the couple as they rounded the corner.

"Yeah," Liam smiled and answered him honestly. "Thought sometime along the line I'd just become a personal trainer when I got tired of everything."

" _When_." Harry laughed.

"You tired of it already?" Liam asked.

Harry shrugged and scrunched up his nose, "Nah, you'll know when .. but it's going to start getting impractical somewhere along the line."


	18. Rathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rathe
> 
> /rāT͟H, raTH/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _prompt and eager./em >_

Harry was laying on his side, his back to Zayn, breathing heavy, fingers and toes curled up around the sheets as Zayn slowly rocked into him. His eyes were softly shut, arm curled under the pillow for extra support and his hair fell over half of his face, with some strand tickling at the corners of his parted mouth but Harry didn't care to move it out of the way.

He pushed his hips back, meeting Zayn's lazy thrusts and cried out, half into the pillow that was pressed into the right side of his face. Zayn reached up and pulled Harry's hair out of the way so that his face was now exposed to the fresh air. He gathered it in his free hand before placing his other on Harry's hip, curling his fingers around his hip bone.

In between the breathy moans, Harry stuck out his tongue to wet his slowly drying lips and brought Zayn's arm up to wrap around his waist and have his hand rest against his heart, feeling the fast pace of it.

Zayn pushed against Harry even more and placed kisses to his exposed neck, just below his ear, turning him on more than he already was and increasing the volume of his moans. Harry let out a guttural moan and arch his neck and back. He lifted his left arm to wrap around Zayn's neck and back of his head so that he could pull him into a messy kiss, all the while having Zayn's hand slowly descend to Harry's erection which was hidden by the tangled sheets.

*

"Would your ... spouse ever suspect anything?" Harry blurted out loud. He hadn't meant to, but the thought had been playing on his mind for some time now and whatever questions Harry had thrown at him so far, Zayn had politely answered. So he hoped that this 'after sex' chat, that he had grown accustomed to, wouldn't go any differently than he had thought.

Most of Harry's married clients not only treat him as their escort, but also as their confidant or personal psychologist. Very often after sex when they're laying on his chest they voice their thoughts out loud and vent about what their husband did or didn't do, how happy they once were, how 'the old them' would never dream of being this adulterous, how they're worried that one day they might find out that they've been unfaithful or something of the sort.

Zayn doesn't look displeased by the question, and even if he is, he does not show it at all. He holds out his left hand to look at his wedding band and twists it around with his thumb. He pouts slightly, "I don't know I wouldn't think so because of the time I leave and get back home." He looks over at Harry whose green eyes are bright with curiosity. "She... we've been a bit distant lately."

_She. He has a wife._

Harry folds his pillow to lift his head so that Zayn has his full attention.

"Is that why 'this'," Harry points between himself and Zayn, "started?"

Zayn takes in a deep breath and pulls the sheets off of his body, finding his boxers and putting them back on. "Yeah, partially. Loneliness consumed me and, curiosity just urged me to do something about it." He looked over to Harry to see him listening intently. "We're trying to fix it. Meet up for marriage counselling as often as we can. It's hard to compromise because she works too. We met when we were both twenty - four." Zayn stares ahead and for a moment it's just him and his thoughts in the room. "I thought she was the most beautiful thing I ever saw - as cliché as that sounds... It's so weird because I didn't get anxious, have my palms get sweaty or anything like that. I was just really excited and wanted to get to know her immediately." Zayn laughs, remembering his younger self. "Now it's like we don't even know each other..." Zayn's voice trailed off along with his thoughts. He cleared his throat and looked at Harry who's also found his boxers to slip back into and is now sitting upright with one of his legs pulled towards his chest, his chin resting on his knee. "Sound familiar?" Zayn forced a smile. "You must have heard stories like this many times in your... 'career.'"

"Yeah." Harry bowed his head and nodded. But he didn't want to categorise Zayn with those other people.

Zayn doesn't mention her name out of embarrassment. He knows what he's doing is wrong, it's the ultimate form of betrayal and some nights, when he's not with Harry, the guilt eats him up alive - but he just can't help coming back to him... It's as if Harry is his own personal drug that he can't quit no matter how hard he tries. He watches Harry, who still has his eyes pointing at the bed, seeming to be in his own world with a slight pout and frown on his face. He's rubbing slowly at the tattoo above his foot with his thumb and Zayn wonders if he's growing bored of the same story he's heard previous times before.

Zayn feels _appreciated_ by Harry in a way. He knows that it's just his job to make him feel that way, but he can't help but hold a soft spot in his heart for him. Both men dress themselves in silence and once done Zayn turns to Harry "I'll see you... around?" He avoids saying the word 'tomorrow' unsure if he's going to stick to his word or not.

Harry agrees with a nod, doing up the last few buttons of his shirt and immediately breaks eye contact with Zayn to put his shoes on, leaving him to silently leave the hotel room once he's left Harry's money on the table.


	19. Sensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sen·sa·tion
> 
> /senˈsāSH(ə)n/
> 
>  
> 
> **noun**
> 
>  
> 
> _a physical feeling or perception resulting from something that happens to or comes into contact with the body._

"Zayn, not now." A husky voice said, stopping his movements. He stopped kissing her neck but kept his head in the same position.

"Why not?" He rubbed her arms and lowered his hands onto the table, pinning her in place.

"Because I'm busy trying to sort out the accounts." She answered, more focused on that than Zayn.

"You can do it later," He moved her hair over her shoulder and licked at her neck.

" **Zayn**."

He sighed and moved back, running his hands through his hair. "I don't know what you want anymore. You say I don't make an effort anymore and when I do the timing is not to your liking."

"Come off it Zayn, you do things when they suit you and, when **you're **in the mood, everything has to be by your rules."****

****"You're overdoing it now, you know that?" Zayn replied, his face taught with irritation.** **

****"I'm overdoing it? _I'm overdoing it_. What about you, working into the late hours of the morning, sneaking back in at who knows what time, valuing your job more than us? Am I still the one that's overdoing things?"** **

****Zayn doesn't answer because she mentions him sneaking in and his nervousness grows. He feels ashamed that she's blaming things on work when there's nothing work related to it. "I'll see you later." Zayn says quietly, rubbing his forehead and grabbing his car keys.** **

****"See, there you go again, off to distract yourself. Well take all the time that you need, I won't be home when you get back." She says and storms away.** **

********* **

****Harry had started noticing that Zayn had certain weekends where he would only leave at a reasonable time like, eight in the morning, and it was almost mostly Saturdays, and if he's lucky, Sundays, that it would happen.** **

****The pair laid in bed together sharing a comfortable silence. Zayn stares up at the ceiling while Harry, who's got his elbow propped up and head resting in his hand, chooses to watch him. Take in his features, how long and thick his eyelashes are, his straight nose with a perfect pointed tip, sharp cheekbones that his lips could rest on forever -** **

****"Enjoying the view?" Zayn asks and the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly.** **

****_Very much so._ ** **

****Harry rested on his side and turned Zayn so that he was no longer on his back but facing away from him so that Harry could spoon him.** **

****He laughed at how fond Harry was being but didn't stop him.** **

****"I never expected to find a tattoo on you." Harry said, his lips just inches away from the bird on Zayn's back.** **

****"What? _Oh!_ Mm," Zayn made an amused sound. "I forget about it because I never see it." Harry looks at the detail put into it and wants to trace over each and every line with his finger. He rubs the tip of his nose against Zayn's skin and the sensation tickles and soothes him. "I got it when I was seventeen." Zayn says softly. "I wanted something to symbolise being free."** **

****_Free from what? Seems like he has a pretty perfect life?_ ** **

****"What made you interested in me?" Harry asks and drags his eyes down Zayn's arm. Unknowingly pulling him out of his sleep.** **

****It took a while for Zayn to think because of how cloudy his mind was. "First impressions? You're really attractive. The dimples were a big plus." Harry wraps his arms around Zayn's and chuckles into his skin. "... You kind of reminded me of an ex - girlfriend." Zayn says which sends both men into a fit of laughter. "Only because of the hair, I promise." Harry doesn't mind the confession, he's still smiling into Zayn's skin.** **

****"Second impressions?" He pushed. He wanted to hear Zayn talk about him and relish in the attention.** **

****"Uhhhmmm.. You're unapologetically honest.. charming.. witty... I liked your accent and voice."** **

****Harry hummed in approval and chuckled, "Don't stop now, it's getting so good."** **

****Zayn smiles with his eyes still closed and runs his thumb over Harry's wrist. "When I first kissed you, it was like being struck by lighting."** **

****Harry laughs loudly and Zayn opens his eyes, though only halfway so they're like slits. It's a goofy laugh that Zayn wasn't expecting and honestly, neither was Harry. "Is that a good thing?" Harry asks, his laughter turning into small giggles and he bites down softly into Zayn's skin, finding the metaphor hilarious.** **

****"Yeah." He nods and closes his eyes again. "Had me shook." He says and Harry laughs into his back again and leaves a few kisses there. A few more minutes of silence falls and Harry's just about to ask Zayn something else but as if sensing it, Zayn stops him. "Sleep, Harry." He slurs, his body and mind an absolute wreck and hopes that Harry stops with the questions and abides.** **

****He thinks that Harry's finally fallen asleep when he feels two fingers curl around his chin, tilting his head up.** **

****" _Harry_ ,"** **

****" _I just want a kiss_." Harry whispers and honestly, after the day Zayn's had, he wants one too.** **

****"Stop before you _really_ wake me up." Zayn pulls away to whisper and warns Harry who had slipped his tongue into Zayn's mouth and started massaging it with his own.** **

****Finally listening, Harry lays back down and shuts his eyes, keeping his arms wrapped around Zayn's biceps and his cheek pressed against his back as he waits for sleep to arrive.** **


	20. Tantalize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tan·ta·lize
> 
> /ˈtan(t)lˌīz/
> 
>  
> 
> **verb**
> 
>  
> 
> _torment or tease (someone) with the sight or promise of something that is unobtainable._

It was now a new year with Harry's twenty - second birthday fast approaching. During the holiday season he didn't see much of Zayn and spent most of his days with Liam and other friends before he got back to his job again. On one particular afternoon in January, Harry was heading past a restaurant and got caught up in the typical LA traffic.

It was absolutely insane today, more so than usual, but sitting bumper to bumper had come to make Harry more patient. Now he sat in a long line waiting to go home. As he slowly started passing a building he saw a couple come out from, he spotted someone vaguely familiar and upon closer look, it was Zayn. His foot almost slipped off the clutch and he very nearly stalled his car when he sees that Zayn's not alone. By his side is a woman that's almost the same height as he is, in her black high heels. She's wearing a black well fitted knee length dress, showing off her trim figure. She's got shoulder length black, bouncy hair that had a brown tint to it once she's in the sun.

Harry's staring now and he knows it but can't look away. Her oversized sunglasses hide her eyes and whatever emotion she's feeling but he doesn't fail to notice the way her full mauve lips looking slightly down turned. She's got warm brown skin, maybe a shade or two darker than Zayn's and Harry guesses that she's Indian.

Zayn was dressed in a navy blue blazer and black pants. On his face, he wore the same solemn expression as she - his wife, did.

As they walked to their car Zayn's hand made its way into her back and Harry felt a slight pang in his chest as his hand travelled lower to keep a protective hand on her.

She looks up and Harry thinks that she's staring right at him, knowing everything that's been going on between him and Zayn. A hooting car pulls his thoughts, and eyes, away from them.

"Hey man, can I cut in?" A guy in a blue Beetle shouts to him.

"Yeah," Harry answers breathlessly and waves him over and goes back to looking at Zayn who's busy opening the door for his wife, climbing in after her and join the traffic.

Harry doesn't want to admit it but he already doesn't like Zayn's wife even though he doesn't know her at all. It also annoys him that he can admit that she's really pretty. _Her and Zayn look really good together._

*

"Did you have a good birthday, my love?" She asks and gently strokes Zayn's cheek.

He smiles at her and drapes his arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him and rubbing his thumb soothingly against her skin. "I did. Thank you, it was a nice treat."

She's trying. They both are, but it's extremely forced.

'New year, new us.' They said, but it's been hard to put into practice.

_"You're just so frustrating, Zayn. It's like living with a damn stranger instead of my husband, I don't know what your agenda is anymore, what you're on about - do you even care about us anymore, Zayn?"_

_"Don't ask me such a question, you know that I do."_

_She sighs and covers her mouth with her hand, shaking her head with an apathetic look in her eyes. She's scared about where her future lies with Zayn, she doesn't want to lose him but she just can't see herself going on like this._

Sometimes they go for days not speaking to each other until one of then caves and asks for something unimportant such as, 'have you seen my blue shirt?'

_Her lips start quivering and she tilts her head back to stop the tears from spilling over. Zayn's heart hurts at the sight. He moves towards her and wraps his slim yet strong arms around her._

_"Please don't cry." He says quietly into her hair._

_"I can't do this anymore, Zayn. I can't - I don't want to keep fighting." She's covering up her face with one of her hands and resting the other against her hip._

_Zayn runs his hand down her hair, holding her shaking body close to his._

_"We'll try, okay, we'll try harder to make things work." He whispered._

Now, sitting in this car heading back home, both their bodies were stiff and the ride was silent except for the radio.

Zayn stared out of the window wondering if this really was the end of his four year marriage. His wife had her hands folded in her lap looking straight ahead and Zayn couldn't help but remember how when he'd hold Harry close to him, Harry would melt into his touch, put all of his weight on him and hold him back, lace their fingers together, stroke his skin - touch him back in anyway no matter how big or small.

Pulling those thoughts away from him almost as soon as they entered his mind, his wife pressed a 'thank you' kiss to his cheek, letting her lips linger there for a while before she pulled away and rested her hand on his thigh. The small act of kindness giving Zayn a slight glimmer of hope for their future.


	21. Uxorial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ux·o·ri·al
> 
> /ˌəkˈsôrēəl, əɡˈzôr-/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _of or relating to a wife._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: homophobia & mentions of violence relating to it

"I saw you and your wife the other day." Zayn frowns and turns to face Harry. "She's pretty."

Zayn nods and his eyes drop to the floor. "She is." He agrees in a hushed tone. "She didn't see you did she?"

"No, not that it would matter if she did." Harry had a point. Both him and Zayn were careful - hell he didn't even know where Zayn lived.

"Where did you see her?"

"She was walking out of a restaurant with you." Zayn doesn't say anything else and stops paying attention to Harry altogether, so Harry takes it upon himself to keep talking and asking questions. "Why do you always leave at the strangest times, does she really need you at 3 A.M?"

He finished buckling his belt before he could answer Harry. He hesitated a bit, wondering if he should divulge so much of his life to Harry. "I have a daughter." He bent down to grab his green shirt and Harry felt like he had just been doused in a litre of ice water. "She's almost a year old now. She's always waking up between four and five in the morning. She's always been like that since she was born. Her mother works late into the night so when she goes to bed around midnight, I really don't mind attending to her. So," He sighed tiredly, "when I go home - as soon as I'm by the door I hear her already screaming so I take a shower and hold her for a while until she calms down... After I got back from that New York trip she got a chest infection and we had to admit her to hospital and it was the scariest thing I've ever experienced in my life."

Harry sits in silence and stares at the sheets around him. His eyes trace the patterns of the creases formed on them while Zayn continues. Harry could handle a wife, that was no problem to him, but as soon as a _kid_ was mentioned, everything changed.

"I know it may sound weird, but I'd spend all the time in the world with her if that's what she wants. I'd give my life for her - I wish I had more time to spend with her..."

It doesn't sound weird. Zayn doesn't know, but Harry can relate extremely well.

"What's her name?" He asks, finding his voice again.

"Ameera." Zayn smiles and Harry sees just how much love he has for her and it makes Harry's heart swell.

Although Zayn had chosen to not mention his wife's name, he couldn't help it when Harry asked about his daughter. She was his pride and joy and Zayn loved nothing more than to speak about her since she was the purest thing in his life.

The reason he's able to spend a lot more time with Harry on weekends? Whenever Zayn and his wife would have a heated argument, which was becoming more and more frequent, she would take Ameera away for the weekend to spend at her parents house - leaving on Friday and coming back on Sunday.

He sits on the edge of the bed and leans forward on his knees. "I want to give her a good life, a better life than I had growing up."

_What does he even mean by that?_

Zayn looked like he had come from a good background. He was smart, determined, kind - I mean the only 'delinquent' thing he had done was get one little tattoo... to symbolise freedom.

"What happened?" Harry's mouth worked faster than his brain did and he couldn't stop his inquisitive self.

"It wasn't the easiest thing coming out to your strict Muslim family as bisexual at only sixteen years old." Harry got out of bed, put on his own pants and moved to sit next to Zayn, making sure to leave a comfortable distance between them. "I was at a party one night and, there was this guy, he was a senior and dear God, he was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever seen."

Harry felt jealousy rise up in him that he desperately tried to shake.

"His name was Brady. He had black hair, blue eyes, was popular, smart, everything you know? That night, he pulled me outside and, I don't know, he was curious I guess - I had already known when I was about thirteen, so it wasn't anything new to me." He sighed and looked over to Harry, searching his eyes for anything but Harry was still intrigued to know more. "People saw what happened. Went home and told their parents, their parents spoke to mine and my mum and dad confronted me immediately. I didn't lie. I didn't see the point, it would have come out sooner or later. It was just... completely scandalous and taboo to hear about in our family.. shameful." Zayn says remembering the word his father used when he had found out.

_"So you're gay? I finally let you out to the stupid party you wanted to go to and then I have to hear from Jon that his son saw you kissing another boy?!"_

_"Dad, I'm not gay -"_

_"Was it a girl that you kissed then?!"_

_"No, but I still like them.. I like both boys and girls."_

_"You can't do that - that's unnatural. How can you like boys and girls? Look at me when I'm talking to you, Zayn! You are shameful, disgusting. You've brought dishonour on this family and if you don't stop now with this nonsense I will not hesitate to punish you."_

"They didn't take it well?" Harry interjected softly.

"No." Zayn shook his head. "They found me _sitting_ in the park with another guy, just a friend. Laughing and talking and, they came to their own conclusions.. My dad and uncle beat me within an inch of my life and left me for dead by a river. This really old couple found me and dropped me off at the hospital."

Harry was in shock, never had he ever expected for Zayn to go through something as horrific as that, especially at the hands of his family.

"After a few days they were able to contact my aunt - my mom's sister," He clarified, "and she took me in. Raised me as one of her own, and my cousins became my brothers and sisters."

"Zayn, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," He spoke with a strong and clear voice - throughout the whole story actually. He had come to terms with the reality of things and made peace with it. He was never, and still isn't, ashamed or embarrassed of/by who he is because there's no reason to be. "It made me who I am and how I am today."

"Was that the last time you spoke to them?"

"Yeah." Zayn nodded. He was completely estranged from them now for the past twelve years, and so was his aunt and her family. They hadn't attended his wedding or seen their granddaughter. Zayn's aunt on the other hand had been his number one supporter since then and pushed him to persevere and strive for nothing but the best, and once he has the best, to keep going and maintain that.

"Would you..." Harry didn't want to make Zayn upset and so he hesitated, "...ever welcome them back into your life? If they had to come and apologise to you?"

Zayn put his hands behind him on the bed and leaned back. "Yeah." He nodded. "If they aplogised I would. They're only humans, they make mistakes."

_Jesus, Zayn, they left you for dead._

Harry would never forgive anyone if they had done that to him or someone that he cared about - family or not. "I want her to have a happy childhood. To be loved by her parents, for them to be there for her, not exchanging her every weekend or fighting for custody." Zayn said picking at his nails. He knew that him and his wife loved each other and their daughter equally and he wanted to get that love that they had for their relationship back. He cleared his throat, standing and gathering the rest of his things, leaving Harry still sitting on the bed.

Snapping up when he realises that Zayn's about to leave, Harry walks towards him and presses a gentle kiss to his lips, letting him leave without another word spoken.


	22. Vindictive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vin·dic·tive
> 
> /vēnˈdiktiv/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _having or showing a strong or unreasoning desire for revenge._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of sexual abuse and (slightly) detailed aftermath

On one particular day when Zayn had decided to not leave immediately after sex and, laid in bed with Harry for a while, Harry chewed on his lip and had his eyebrows knitted tightly together, looking deep in thought. He was sitting up against the headboard with his arms folded over his chest. "Are you alright?" Zayn asked and stretched his hand to comb it through Harry's hair. Harry nodded and his face softened. "You don't mind, do you?" He asked and, Harry was momentarily confused.

"Mind what?"

"Just laying here."

"No. Unless you wanna go another round?" Harry offered with a cheeky smile.

Zayn grinned and pinched his chin fondly before placing one arm behind his head, the other on his chest and letting his eyes fall shut. Minutes later he chuckled lightly, gaining Harry's attention.

"What?" Harry mumbled into his pillow he had now sunk in.

"I just, I thought that this would be really weird in the beginning."

"Why?" Harry laughed.

"Just that, when I found out you were twenty - one and I'm twenty - eight, just made me feel a bit like a pedophile." Zayn chuckled.

" **Don't** say that." Harry said sternly, sitting up. "You're in your twenties and so am I, and everything is consensual. It's not the same as pedophilia."

Zayn is shocked by Harry's sudden change in demeanour because of what he thought was only a harmless joke. "Harry, I didn't mean - I'm sorry if -"

"It's fine." Harry took a moment to think and calm down.

Zayn sat up and brought his knees to his chest, still keeping his eyes on Harry who took a deep breath in. "It obviously _isn't_?" Zayn said softly.

Harry licks his lips. "Back in England. It's me, my mum, my sister, Gemma, and brother, Dan." Harry can't believe he's about to reveal this much about his life. "Gemma's twenty - five and Dan's thirteen. Gemma and I are really close. We've always had each others' backs no matter what, and it still is like that even though we're so far away from each other." He paused, keeping his eyes fixed on the bed sheets. "Dan, on the other hand... he just, I never really felt that sibling bond with him. He was always in my face, in my business, getting on my nerves more and more everyday, and it's always been like that, since the day my mum brought him home from the hospital I just never -" Harry shook his head.

Being the middle child of a family was obviously not easy for Harry and he didn't try to hide his past detestation for his younger brother. All Dan really wanted was to be just like Harry. To be cool, funny and smart like him. Harry was his role model and hero. Their dad left when Harry was twelve and Dan was just four, so he was the only male figure in his life that Dan looked up to and admired.

"I should have been a better brother, I should be a better son, I know I should - I should be a better person, period." Harry said shaking his head. He wiped at the corners of his eyes and Zayn wondered if he was crying but couldn't quite tell because of Harry's still bowed head. When he lifted his head, Zayn saw that he still had dry eyes. He leaned forward and rested his chin in his hand, a blank look in his eyes.

"When I was seventeen and Dan was nine.. I, uhm. Mum asked me to go get him from school because she was busy at work that day, Gemma was off at uni so it was just me... and uh, I said I'd go later because I was hanging out with friends and I didn't want Dan there with us." He shook his head and frowned. "I was just about to go get him, around four or something once everyone had left, when I heard the door open. Dan walked in, didn't say 'hi' like he normally would.. just walked right past me and went to the bathroom."

The back of Harry's neck, ears and chest started getting warmer as he was growing more uncomfortable."I heard the shower running, called out for him to see what the hell he was doing but he never answered, so I went into the bathroom." Harry shuts his eyes and stretches his neck to the side to relieve some tension, closes his eyes and continues to speak with them while closed. "He was in the shower, his clothes piled up on the floor..."

A long pause is taken and all that the men can hear is the sheets moving lightly as Zayn adjusts his feet.

"There was blood." Harry rubs the corner of his eye and opens his eyes again. "It was on his underwear and pants."

He sticks his thumb between his teeth and bites down on his nail.

Zayn's blood runs cold and he immediately feels light headed. His eyebrows knit together tightly and he resembles the frown Harry so very often wears.

"I asked him what happened and all that he can tell me is that he'll clean up his clothes and _he's_ sorry." Harry's eyes are lifeless at this point and there are a million things running through his head as he's telling the story. "I - I couldn't wrap my head around how anyone could - his teacher could, I -" He struggling to speak and make structured sentences.

Zayn's unsure of if he should say something or let Harry let all of this out and give him some time. He decides to let his hand drop and let's his fingers curl around Harry's hand that's resting on the bed. Harry holds Zayn's hand back, although it's limp and he doesn't meet his eyes.

"Harry, did you tell anyone, the police? Someone to help Dan?" Zayn asks softly.

Harry continues staring at the corner of the room and collects himself, he ignores Zayn's question and continues on. "I made Dan tell me who it was. I don't know how many times I had to ask him before I broke down in front of him and begged him while on my hands and knees because he couldn't talk, he couldn't speak about it." He now looks at Zayn and removes his hand from his and smooths his hair down. He's shaking his head before he speaks again. "I found out where he lived, and, I was just in such a rage I didn't think about anything else besides Dan... I had taken the tyre iron out from the car and... I just couldn't stop once I saw him ... I couldn't stop until _he_ stopped moving and reality sunk in on what I had done." Harry's knees are to his chest and he's running the palms of his hands along his legs.

Zayn fears the absolute worst at this point.

"He's still alive." Harry sniffs away his newly formed tears. "I checked his pulse, felt that it was still beating, got his phone out and made him confess everything to the police. I left just before police could come barging in and he never mentioned me - said that someone broke into his house and he didn't see them." He swallowed thickly. "It gets worse because the thing is, Dan wasn't even his first victim, the _fucking bastard_!" Harry spits and angry tears burn at his eyes as his throat tightens. "The trial took the longest time, it took so much out of all of us, we won it but, God, mum was so broken - we all were.. And it's all my fault. Dan has nervous tics, he mostly became mute, his entire life is fucked all because of me." Harry chokes out. "He's gotten therapy for it," Harry whimpers. "And it's helped a bit." He nods. "But, God. I would give my soul to go back in time and just fucking go pick him up, be a better brother." He finally comes apart and lets Zayn see who Harry really is, all of his broken pieces are displayed like _dumping your purse on your bedroom floor._

Zayn pulls Harry in for a hug and makes sure it's long, warm and tight. He wants to take his pain away. He feels tears slide down his back and Harry starts apologising through thick, rushed words about crying all over him, but Zayn doesn't care and keeps Harry's head in place, safely and comfortably on his shoulder. It's the worst possible thing to hear someone cry like that, because you know that there's absolutely nothing that you can do in your power to make things better or ease the pain.

After a while, Harry stops and calms. "Thank you for listening, I'm sorry I just unloaded all of that on you suddenly, I know it's a lot." He said, looking down, once pulling away... But he needed to. He had never spoken about this with someone else.

"Don't apologise, Harry. I'm sorry that this happened. We can talk about it all you want or completely change the topic, either is fine and up to you. We can even just lay here." Zayn offers soothingly and Harry nods, sinking down into bed with him.

He's facing Zayn because he wants to hold him too and not _just_ be held by him. He parts his lips, about to speak when he shakes his head at himself and decides against it, letting Zayn's fingers rake through his hair, comforting him.

It was hard speaking about everything and Harry still blames himself for what happened, but having Zayn here, with him, was making things a little bit more bearable.


	23. Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wild
> 
> /wīld/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _uncontrolled or unrestrained, especially in pursuit of pleasure._

Harry had just recently turned twenty - two and felt that he could no longer hide his feelings for Zayn from him. Everytime he meets with him it's not just _fucking_ anymore, it's not _sex_ , Harry feels loved.

Zayn makes _love_ to him.

Filthy nothing's turned into sweet somethings, pulling on his hair turned into gently burying his hand in it and holding him close while he looked into his eyes and took his time with him, making sure that he came first so that he could watch him be completely at ease.

"Zayn," He turned to look at Harry, waiting for him to continue. "I think I'm falling for you." He said in a hushed tone as if confessing something taboo. He was lying a bit because he had _already_ fallen for him, but he was scared to just come out and say, 'hey Zayn I love you, I'm always thinking about you, etcetera.'

Zayn smiled softly and knitted his eyebrows together. "How?" He asked like it was an impossible feat. Harry swallowed thickly but held eye contact with him. He was panic stricken at his own confession. He stared into Zayn's glossy copper eyes and his mind immediately went back to the syrup he had tasted on Zayn's lips that morning he kissed him after breakfast and he thought that at this current moment, his eyes resembled that sticky sweet golden goodness. "Hey," Zayn whispered and reached out to cup Harry's face to bring him back to earth.

"You. Just - who you are, how you are... how you treat me.. You make me feel so important. You're similar to me yet so different, in so many ways. You're one of the most caring people I've come to know." Harry explained and his heart was racing. It felt like that giant butterfly he had tattooed on his body had magically come to life and was now beating it's wings against his body - sending him into a frenzy.

Zayn still held Harry's cheek in his hand and stroked it gently with his thumb. "Stop falling, Harry, I'm nothing special. I'm just another ordinary client."

The sound of butterfly wings fluttering came to a harsh stop and was replaced by multiple falling shards of glass. Harry opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He shook his head slowly, all the while still looking into Zayn's eyes. "H- How do I stop falling, or fall out of love, Zayn? It's not something that I can Google and follow instructions for." Harry raised his voice slightly and frowned at Zayn's request - and he certainly was not ordinary to Harry by any means.

"What do you want to do then, where do you think this is going to go?" Zayn asked sitting up and, Harry followed. "Do you want to run away together?"

" _Yes_ ," Harry whispered wistfully even though Zayn said it as a farce.

Zayn paused and him and Harry just stared at each other "And go where?" He finally asked the jade eyed man.

_Anywhere._

"Hawaii." Harry laughed for a second and held onto Zayn's hand.

Zayn smiled sadly and slowly started shaking his head. "You're just a kid, Harry -"

"I am **not**!" Harry said ferociously, putting his guard up. He was sick of hearing that. He had made it on his own with the help of nobody and he wanted to be recognised for the man that he was. "I've just had my damn birthday, I'm growing up, I'm doing things for myself, I'm not a kid."

Zayn maintained his gentle stance and tone and, cupped Harry's face. "You're very mature for your age, Harry, but you're still incredibly young. You've got your entire life ahead of you, you've got someone out there waiting for you - someone who's perfect just for you." But Harry didn't want anybody else, he just wanted Zayn all to himself. "You've fallen in love with the idea -"

"Don't tell me what I feel or what you **think** I've fallen for." Harry breathed and felt his eyes start to burn. Tears were quickly welling up and Zayn saw it too, so he pulled him close in a tight embrace.

Harry wasn't sobbing, having a break down or anything like that. His body and mind were incredible calm as he sat with his chin perched on Zayn's shoulder and arms wrapped around him with a deep frown on his face and slightly parted lips. The entire feeling and, situation was surreal to him. He dug his finger nails into Zayn's soft skin and held onto him for dear life. Slow, steady tears are sliding down his face as Zayn's words were echoing through his mind.

_Would you really go to Hawaii, Harry? You, Zayn **and Ameera**? You think that her mother, his wife, would allow that._

_This isn't a fairytale._

It was supposed to be just sex, but Zayn opened up to Harry and, Harry opened up to Zayn - feeling safe around him.. and the fact of the matter is, you can only be with someone for so long without feeling anything whatsoever, but as soon as they start letting their guard down around you and you throw something as intimate as sex in the mix, everything changes. Your perception of them changes and they sure as hell change a part of you. Slowly but surely it had happened with Harry. When he watched Zayn sleep, picked up on how serene he looked, how his pinky finger would sometimes twitch, how light his snores would be. The vulnerability of it all... You pay attention to small details, find out what makes that person the way they are, fall for their individuality. All the little things, and seeing each others pasts - what made them who they are today, how selfless, patient and forgiving Zayn is, pulled them even more towards each other. Like magnets destined to be.

The other night when Harry had told the story about Dan to him, he made sure that he held Harry close and explained that what had happened was not his fault and, that he can't blame himself for messed up people in the world. Zayn knew that it wasn't exactly ideal to hold Harry so close, to stroke his hair so gently, to press a comforting kiss to his temple so tenderly, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to see Harry like this.

Harry pulled away to look Zayn in the eyes. "You don't feel the same way, do you?" Harry asked with two thin watery streaks running down his cheeks.

Zayn pausing was answer enough for Harry and he suddenly felt like a kid in high school who had just been rejected from their year long crush. "Harry, you're a great person - inside and out, and if I'm being honest, maybe if I weren't committed then we might have had a chance."

Zayn did care for him, he _does_ care for him. He cares for him with great affection. He loves that Harry trusts him enough to speak to him about himself, about his family and, about his past. He loves how strong and brave Harry is of a person, he loves that he acknowledges his own flaws yet still pushes on through them. _He does love Harry, but he's not going to admit it because of the life he has already started. He's not going to admit because hearing his own confession will be enough to throw him over that cliff without hesitation._

"You shouldn't have been so nice to me all this time." Harry scoffs and laughs, wiping away at his tears and feeling ridiculous.

"Sorry." Zayn laughed lightly, having just apologised for being a decent person, which in turn made Harry look at him and laugh - still a bit teary eyed.

_God, I just want to kiss you. All. The. Time. For the rest of my life._

"...I don't want things to get awkward between us now.." Zayn says and his eyes drop to the sheets around his legs.

"No, they won't -" Harry's smile falls and he becomes panicky.

"Harry," He shakes his head. "We should end things, now before they really get out of hand and we become too wrapped up in things. "You know that this has to end.. I know that _this_ is not going to be the rest of your life, you're far too brilliant Harry. There's so much more for you out there,"

"Zayn, wait, can't we -"

"No, Harry. It's just going to get more complicated. I can't come meet you here for the rest of our lives. You're not going to stay an escort for the rest of your life." Zayn explained, making sure that he stayed calm and soft with a vulnerable Harry.

"What am I going to do?" Harry asks, feeling slightly hopelessness.

"There's no cut off for anything. You can go back to university, learn anything your heart desires and excel at it." Zayn wasn't trying to butter Harry up and make him feel better, no, he meant and believed every word that he said and he believed in Harry too, Harry just needed to believe in himself. "You're smart and determined Harry, all you need to do is recognise your passion."

Harry coughed up a laugh/sob. "So this is it?"

Zayn nodded and pressed his lips together in a thin line, sadness etched all over his face.

He pulled Harry in for one last kiss, keeping his emotions in check while Harry tried to control his tears which were making Zayn's own cheeks wet as he kissed him.

Harry roughly pulled away, all of this becoming too much for him and stood up, climbing out of bed and grabbing at his clothes.

"Harry -" But Harry didn't listen. After finally pulling on his shirt and wiping his now red face he's about to walk out the door when Zayn's calling for him again. "Harry, wait! I haven't... I haven't paid you." He says softly.

"I don't want it Zayn, I don't want your _money_ , keep it." He wasn't angry at Zayn. He understood the situation and circumstances of it all. He was just hurting really bad and Zayn didn't want to see him go like this. "Goodbye, Zayn." He said before leaving the bedroom and this was the first time that Harry had left the hotel before Zayn had, since their first meeting.


	24. X-Rated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> X-rat·ed
> 
> /ˈeksˌrādəd/
> 
>  
> 
> **adjective**
> 
>  
> 
> _pornographic or indecent._

Harry had been living in LA now for just over year and in that year he had grown exponentially, seen and learnt new things, made new lifelong friends and fallen in love. Now after having a long think over things he decided that it's time to leave this place.

_"Well, Styles, I didn't expect you to last this long. It was nice knowing you."_

_Harry nodded and smiled at Vivian. "Thank you for everything. It was a wild ride." He laughed._

Harry had left the escort agency well before February, when his feelings for Zayn had become too much to handle and he didn't want to see anyone but him. Since February, the last time he saw Zayn, he had put his apartment back on the market and made arrangements to go back home.

***

"Coming!" Liam shouted and grabbed a white t-shirt that was lying on the side of his bed. Pulling it over his head and opening the door, he was met with a short haired Harry.

"Hey," He greets and his eyes flicker to the fat cat in his arms. ".... You're leaving, aren't you?" He asks and Harry nods.

"For good. I'm going to try and start again in London.. Make an actual name for myself." He explains. "Be with my family."

Liam nods in understanding and as much as he'll miss one of his best friend's, that he's grown to know and love, he's happy for Harry to restart and find peace in his life.

After quitting the agency Harry told Liam everything. How things progressed with Zayn, what happened to Dan, him and Zayn ending things - it was all just like the flood gates opening and Liam took everything in and was there for him.

"I, uhm, I didn't want to take him to the shelter because I know no one will take him because he's so fucking lazy." Harry laughs and looks at Tom who's looking up at him, his tail flicking up as if understanding and confirming that what Harry is saying, is in fact true. "... And I don't want him to get put down, so I was wondering... would you mind taking him in?" Liam smiles at the cat and scratches its' head. "He actually prefers his chest being scratched to his head." Harry informs him with a small smile.

Liam laughs and takes the not-so-little guy into his arms. "Christ Harry, what do you feed him?"

"Just normal cat food I swear, and I never overfeed him... I donno, maybe he has a thyroid problem or something." He laughs and runs a hand through his hair. "Uh, I have his bed and, food and, toys and, stuff in the car." Harry mentions, sheepishly.

"He really grew on you, huh?" Liam says and puts Tom down inside his house to help Harry get the stuff from his car.

"Yeah, he did."

After getting everything ready it's time for final goodbyes and Harry doesn't really know where to start. "Thank you for everything, Liam."

"Ah, don't go getting all soft on me, Styles."

"I'm serious, I probably wouldn't have made it out here without your help." Harry's says sincerely.

"I think you would have." Liam says folding his arms over his chest and nods. He's always had faith that because Harry was a go - getter he would always set out to work towards what he wanted with or without help. Harry smiles, appreciating Liam's words and took a step forward to give him a big hug. "Take care of yourself, kid." Liam said and gave him a pat on his back, making Harry let out a short laugh.

"You too, Liam."

"Don't be a stranger, come back and visit."

Harry nodded and, the guys pulled away from each other. "Yeah, yeah I will. And uh, you ease up on those protein shakes, you nearly cut off my air supply, there." He joked, leaving Liam laughing and walking back to his car, wanting to end things on a light note.

***

It's now been four months since Harry last saw Zayn. Neither of them had tried to contact each other but today, Harry just wanted to have one final goodbye so he texted Zayn, hoping to meet him just one last time at the hotel.

Zayn stared at the text message for what felt like an eternity. He and his wife had been to countless therapy sessions and they had both put in a lot of effort to revive their marriage and now, they were in a good place, stable, happy. Sneaking off to meet a secret lover felt worse now that he was in a good relationship again... but could he say no to Harry just wanting to see him for one final time? He typed a message saying that he couldn't make it, yet his finger hovered over the 'send' button.

*

Harry walked around the lounge area in Zayn's hotel room, wondering if he'd actually show up. He figured that he'd give him half an hour to see if he'd come or not before leaving and never looking back again. Looking around the room he remembered everything that happened there and smiled to himself. He made his way to the large window he liked so much because of the view it offered, when he heard the door softly open. He thanked the high heavens that he had kept the key card the day he said goodbye to Zayn, just to have this moment.

He turned around and saw Zayn take small steps towards him. He looked exactly the same as Harry had left him - maybe his hair was a little longer but his eyes and smile were still as soft and loving as ever, his stubble was still well kept and clothes still clung to his athletic body so well that any Vogue model would envy him. "You came." He speaks first and walks towards Zayn, closing the gap between them and holding him close.

"You cut your hair." Zayn said, smiling up at the slightly taller man.

"Don't look like your ex anymore, do I?" Harry joked making Zayn laugh.

"No. Not at all." Zayn said shaking his head and brought his hand up to feel the freshly cut, soft hair. Baby curls peeking out at the sides made Zayn smile fondly and to him, it was like Harry went through an emotional, as well as, a physical transformation.

Harry bit his lip, and smiled at Zayn, "I _really_ wanna kiss you right now." He confessed.

_Zayn, you know you really shouldn't._

Zayn stared at Harry's lips, smiling at his honesty and pressed his soft lips to Harry's own.

It was just like electricity rushing through Harry's veins as soon as Zayn touched him. He let his eyes fall shut and removed his hands from his pants pockets to place them on Zayn's waist, kissing him long and slow. His hands pulled Zayn closer so that he could wrap his arms around him properly while Zayn cupped his face and neck.

*

"You're beautiful, in so many ways, Harry." Zayn murmured, stroking his cheek and kissing him again.

Harry closed his eyes and smiled, kissing Zayn slowly - something he would be happy with doing for the rest of his life. After ending the kiss he rubbed his nose against Zayn's to give him an Eskimo kiss. Zayn's eyelashes softly stroked Harry's cheeks and he fought the urge to giggle at feeling, knowing if he makes a sound - any sound - he would break down because he would think about all of the things he was going to miss about Zayn.

They had spent one final moment together in bed and now the time had come for Harry to leave. "Is it disgustingly cliché that I've made you a mixtape?" Harry asked shyly after he and Zayn had gotten dressed again. He knows that Zayn won't laugh at him and think that he's lame but he's still nervous.

"No Harry, I think it's sweet." He smiles, completely taken and flattered that Harry would take the time out to do something like this. Harry walks over to the coffee table and Zayn sees a blank CD in a case that he had completely missed when he first walked in because of his attention being completely on Harry.

"These songs are really just beautiful to me, and so they remind me of you - sometimes the words speak to me, other times it's just the vibe of the song." Harry said sincerely and Zayn could see that music meant a lot to him. "They're not all hopelessly romantic." Harry said smiling at the CD, hoping and praying that Zayn likes it. He didn't want to put sappy love songs/breakup anthems on there as a means to put Zayn on a guilt trip, he just wanted to show him little glimpse of what he's like when he's by himself, what it feels like when he falls in love and is happy, and what just sounded really fucking good to him, really.

"Thank you, Harry. This really means a lot." Zayn said and hugged him one last time after taking the CD from him.

"Look after yourself." Zayn said into the crook of Harry's neck. "I'll never forget you, Harry." And Zayn meant that - CD or not Zayn couldn't forget Harry if he tried.

And at that, Harry let his eyes close and had a single tear slip from his eye. He breathed in Zayn's musky, clean, warm scent and pulled away, smiling at him when he did so.

_I love you. I love you a lot, always._

"Goodbye, Zayn."

***

Zayn sat alone in his car in the stillness of the night, in his garage, and thought about everything that had gone on in his life since meeting Harry. He looked over at the CD on the passengers seat and grabbed it, pushing it into the car radio system. As he listened to all the songs he smiled fondly at Harry's taste in musicians and the style of songs he liked. Zayn didn't know some artists or songs but it was a welcomed surprise to his ears to hear something different. There were well known artists and songs, stuff way back from the seventies and current day music, voices he had never heard before and songs that he had heard way back when but had no idea who sang it.

By the time the CD finished it was just after 04:00 and Zayn made his way into a silent house. He placed the CD atop the shelf next to the TV in their lounge and made his way up to his bedroom to take a hot shower and while doing so, finally let himself cry as the feeling sunk in that this was the final time that he would see Harry.

×××

_Harry's mixtape included:_

_1\. Sex - The 1975  
2\. Heroes - David Bowie  
3\. Wonderwall - Oasis  
4\. Cecilia - Simon and Garfunkel  
5\. Wild - Kings of Leon   
6\. Kids - MGMT   
7\. The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson   
8\. Baby I'm Yours - Arctic Monkeys   
9\. Tongue Tied - GroupLove  
10\. Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood   
11\. Smells like Summer - Early Hours   
12\. I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness  
13\. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus  
14\. Fortune Faded - Red Hot Chili Peppers  
15\. Any Way You Want It - Journey  
16\. Sun Scream - The Plastics   
17\. Intro - the xx  
18\. Hey Jude - The Beatles   
19\. Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd   
20\. Humblest Pleasures - Turnover_

_There's so much more that he wanted to put on, so many more artists that he wanted to share with Zayn, but didn't want to overdo things and left the ones that he thought were the best on there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have loved to have added 1D and Zayn's songs to the list but because it's AU, they don't exist, but if I had to, I would have added (all their songs if I'm honest):  
> \- Happily  
> \- Never Enough  
> \- Night Changes  
> \- Fireproof  
> \- What A Feeling  
> \- End of the Day  
> \- Over Again  
> \- Why Don't We Go There  
> \- Home  
> \- Fool for You  
> \- Intermission: Flower  
> \- Bordersz  
> \- I Don't Wanna Live Forever


	25. Yonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yon·der
> 
> /ˈyändər/
> 
>  
> 
> **adverb**
> 
>  
> 
> _at some distance in the direction indicated; over there._

"Oh, my baby! I'm so proud of you!" Anne squealed and grabbed Harry's face, giving him multiple congratulatory kisses on his cheek.

"Mum," he whined, laughing at the affection and, having his dimples pop into full view.

"I'm just so proud of you, love, you've done so well." Anne said, her voice wavering as her emotions started getting the better of her.

"Mum, please don't," Harry begged his mum not to cry as soon as he started seeing her eyes get glossy.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She waved a hand and turned around to dab at her tears with a tissue.

Gemma then pulled him into a big hug, almost knocking off his graduation cap. "I'm so proud of you, baby brother." She said, squeezing his tall frame and, making him beam.

"Thank you, and thanks for being a great role model for me, Gem." He said with sincerity and pulled away to look at his older sister.

Finally, a nineteen year old Dan who stood next to his mum, gave a twenty - seven year old Harry a crooked smile before hugging him as well, giving him a few pats on the back until he just stayed in place with his arms around Harry's broad shoulders. When he pulled away he held his hand on his chest and left the other on Harry's shoulder, "I'm so proud of you, Harry." He said with his face lighting up. Dan had softer, more gentle features than Harry, but was nonetheless just as handsome as him. He had soft, lighter green - almost lime coloured eyes, a rounded button nose, full pink lips and a strong - yet not as sharp - jaw. His hair was a darker shade of brown - almost black and more wavy than curly.

"Thank you, Dan." Harry said hugging him once more. Dan's nervous tics had almost completely diminished, he was no longer mute and conquered his stutter with the help of ongoing therapy. Right now Harry was the proud one to see how far Dan had come and how brave and strong he was to persevere and push through.

"Best brother." Dan mumbled into Harry's neck.

" _You're_ the best brother." Harry said pulling back and raising his hand so that Dan could high - five him.

It was five years later and Harry had finally graduated from university with his final degree in journalism. He had worked part time and studied, remaining independent, yet still being there for his family whenever he needed them.

***

The following year he finally landed a job working as a photojournalist and travel reporter for the local magazine. He loved nothing more than to meet new people who were on their way to changing the world, visiting new places and learning about new culture - Harry just loved learning and speaking about what impact it had on him and hoped that it had some impact I'm his readers too.

He had even persuaded the editor in chief to let him publish an article that he had written about himself - or rather, 'a friend' that he had made, and how 'that friend' had found love in an unlikely place, " _almost like a Pretty Woman-esque experience. Down on her luck street walker meets rich, fancy businessman_." He remembers describing the moment.

He missed Zayn a lot when he first got back home. He wass all that Harry could think about for a while. The time they spent together, the late night conversations they would have. It hurt so much that as soon as Gemma picked up Harry from the airport he spent some time with her, curled up on the couch with his head in her lap telling her all about the love him and Zayn shared, before he could go see his mum and Dan.

_"I know it hurts, Harry.. but things get better in time. I know it feels like you'll never find a love like him again but you simply can't think that way because there's many people in this world that are just as amazing of a person as Zayn is, you just have to look for them or let them find you. I promise you'll find love in your life again, Harry, maybe even more than a good few times."_

_Harry sniffed and sighed, "Just don't tell mum about this. She'll have a damn heart attack if she knew what I did in America."_

_" **I** nearly had a heart attack when you told me. But don't worry, your dirty little secret is safe with me." Gemma said and pretend to zip her lips making a small smile appear on Harry's face._

And then, with time, Harry stopped feeling sad when he realised that Zayn came into his life for more reasons than just to be a comfort for him and he was grateful for that.

Now Harry sat at his desk, his golden boots bouncing on the floor, as he was putting together some pictures on his latest article about his trip to Africa that he had just returned from. After done with that he was free for the day and headed home.

"Haz, you should take over the fashion section from me." A co-worker joked as she walked past him and took in his attire, that everyone in the office had all gotten used to.

"His name is obviously ' _Styles_ ' for a reason, Jules." Another woman, opposite Harry, said, making him smile to himself.

"You know, I wouldn't mind. It would be a nice change - something different." He said.

"And different is good, right?" Jules smiled at him, repeating the phrase he always used around them.

"Right." He nodded and winked before saying his goodbyes for the weekend.

As soon as he went home he made himself a cup of tea and while at the sink, saw an orange and white kitten slip through the open window. "Hello," Harry greeted and went back to finish making his cup of tea.

The kitten, who was slightly wet from the London rain, shook itself and stretched before tentatively crawling over the counter and then jumping up on the table where Harry was. He eyed the kitten and, before putting the milk back in the fridge, got out a small bowl for the little friend, who was anxiously watching him.

He sipped on his tea, watching the kitten lap up the milk when his phone rang. "Hey, Gem."

" _Hazza! Hey, how are you?_ "

"Good and you?" He asked, trying to reach out to touch the kitten but have it flinch away.

" _Good, listen, do you have any plans for tomorrow?_ "

"No, why?"

" _Do you wanna come on a double date with me?_ "

"Uh, I donno Gem - wait, you're going on a date? With who? What's his name?" Harry asked, going into overprotective mode.

" _His name is Brendon, he's really nice Haz. We've been talking for a while now and he's got a really nice friend named Ashley_." He could practically hear sister smirking over the phone. Gemma had actually been talking to Brendon for a really long time now but wanted to wait until things were serious between them before she mentioned him to Harry because she knew how he would get. "We can go catch a movie and some pizza or something. It'll be casual, what do you say?"

"Mmm," Harry hummed, unimpressed by this Brendon person. Harry had dated people since Zayn, but it was never anything really serious - still, he always gave people a chance to see where things would go. "Okay, what time?" He asked and gently and slowly stuck out his hand to let the kitten sniff it and see that he was no threat before petting it lovingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Goodbyes are never easy, especially when it's to something or someone you hold dearly in your heart because it feels like you're leaving behind a piece of yourself with them - and you are, but that's beautiful because you were so selfless in giving that part of yourself to them to keep forever._


	26. Zayn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arabic
> 
> زين
> 
>  
> 
> _beautiful and radiant ___

"Daddy, wake up. Mummy's sick again. Can you do my hair and take me to school please?"

Zayn fights to open his eyes and lift his head up and look at the big golden eyes staring back at him. "Sure, babe." He looks over to his wife's sleeping form and gently strokes her cheek. He gets up, has a wash, puts on a shirt and lifts his daughter up to sit at the vanity. "What do you want to do with your hair today?" Zayn asks, lifting up a handful of her black hair, not really knowing where to start with any of it.

"Plait it, please."

"Okay," He starts doing a simple braid.

"No daddy, not like that!"

"Then how, Ameera?"

"A French one."

"Uhm..." Zayn doesn't really know how to do a French braid and gets out his phone to Google it. "Hold my phone for me, please." Zayn says and follows a tutorial on braids. He frowns feeling that his attempt looks much messier than the pictures that are on screen. He checks the time seeing that they have a few minutes to spare and undoes the whole thing to start over.

"Having a bit of a problem, dad?" Ameera teases and Zayn smiles at her sass and pulls a face at her in the mirror before finishing off her braid.

"Come on then, grab your bag and let's go."

*

"Daddy. _Daddy_."

"Hmm?" Zayn looks away from his laptop to the small being on the ground that's tapping his thigh, vying for his attention. "Yes, angel?" He asks his six year old daughter.

"Look at what we did in school today." She's nervous yet excited to show her dad a piece of paper that she's clutching to her chest.

Zayn pushes his laptop further away from him and picks his daughter up, sitting her down on his lap. "Show me." He smiles and adjusts his glasses, eager to see what Ameera's hiding from him.

"Okay...look!" She says with a big reveal.

"Oh, baby, it's beautiful!" Zayn coos.

"It's you, me and, mummy outside the house."

"And who's this?" Zayn points to a little brown drawing of fluff.

"That's Spot."

"... And Spot _is_?" Zayn asks, amusement in his voice.

"...our puppy? Maybe we can get him next week?" Ameera blushes and suggests.

Zayn chuckles and kisses the top of her head. "We'll see, bub."

He pulls his laptop towards him again and continues to read his email with Ameera sitting comfortably on his lap. She's got one of her small hands holding onto his arm and the other still holding onto the painting she made. She's looking at his laptop screen too, trying to make sense of things but nothing's there to hold her attention. "I'm happy that you work more from home now, dad." She says, laying her head against Zayn's chest, feeling his heartbeat against her cheek much like she would when she was younger. She's a daddy's girl in every sense of the word and cherishes Zayn so very much.

He smiles down at the mini version of himself before smoothing his hand over her soft hair, laughing to himself that his braid sadly didn't seem to make it all the way throughout the day. "I'm happy too." He says and rests his chin on her head.

"No, dad." Ameera whines. "I don't like your hair, it's so hard and there's so much." She complains about Zayn's full beard that he's purposely annoying her with.

A woman's voice can be heard speaking from there kitchen, calling out for Ameera.

"We're in here." Zayn shouts from the study.

"Did you see what our little Picasso did in class today?" She asks as she walks in and stands behind Zayn.

"I did. She's very talented." He answers with pride.

"Can I put it on the fridge, _bachcha_?"  
(baby)

"Yes, mummy." Ameera beamed.

"How are you feeling?" Zayn asked, looking up at his wife.

"A bit better." She sighed. "I'm going to lie down for a bit, then I'll start on supper."

"I can do it. I have time." Zayn offered.

She thanks Zayn before leaving the room and Ameera shifts around to try and stand up. "Dad, can we go with mum or will we get sick too?"

"No, we can lie down with her, nothing will happen to us." He says and picks his daughter up to head to the bedroom.

"Can we join you?" Zayn asks his wife from the doorway.

"Of course." She smiles and turns on her side.

Ameera is placed in the middle of them and stares intently at her mother's stomach. "When will the baby come out?"

"Any day. Do you want to feel, they're kicking now." Her mother takes her hand and gently places it on her swollen belly.

Zayn smiled and leaned on his elbow, watching his daughters' face light up when she felt the unborn baby kick. The family laid in bed togethe, talking about their day when Ameera slowly dozed off to sleep.

"I'll go start supper now." Zayn whispered.

"Zayn -" His wife quickly and quietly called and grabbed his hand before he could get off the bed. She's hesitant. "Thank you for staying. I know things were bad, we weren't in a good place.. but thank you for not throwing everything away."

Zayn bowed his head and nodded. "I do love you. Very much. I always will." He whispered and brushed her hair away and tucked it behind her ear. Zayn wasn't lying. He loved his wife. They had put their differences aside and rekindled the love they had when they first met, and, he was just as grateful as she was to have her stay and work towards bettering their marriage.

She smiled at him with tears in her eyes and kissed the back of his hand. "I love you too."

*

It was now 02:30 and Zayn was busy making himself a cup of chamomile tea to try and get him to sleep when he heard the soft pitter patter of two tiny feet enter the kitchen. He looked down to see a solemn looking Ameera, and her stuffed bunny, Sir CuddleBottom, walk towards him. "Why are you awake, peanut?" Zayn asked and lifted his daughter up to sit her on the counter as he brewed his tea.

"I could ask you the same thing, daddy." She said, hugging her stuffed toy.

 _This kid is too advanced for her age._ Zayn thought and looked amused.

"I just couldn't sleep tonight." He answers honestly. "Do you want something to drink, hun?"

Ameera sighs dramatically and Zayn leans his hand out against the counter and sips on his tea, waiting for his daughter to speak, watching her eyes look around the room. "I had a bad dream that there was a monster on the ceiling."

He looked into her eyes and saw not a trace of sleep. Whatever she dreamt must have really spooked her. "Want me to come check it out?" Zayn offered.

"You can finish your tea first, I don't mind." Ameera said and started talking to her dad about this boy at school who she thinks has 'nice hair' but she thinks he likes her friends' hair more than hers. Zayn smiles while listening to the little romantic story his daughter was telling him and in that moment couldn't believe how blessed he was to have her.

"Okay, bed time - for real now." Zayn said after putting his cup in the sink and going to pick Ameera up. "Nothing on the ceiling." Zayn said once he was in Ameera's bedroom with her still safely in his arms.

She looked around the rest of the room anxiously and Zayn checked the cupboard, window and under her bed before tucking her in. "Thank you for checking for the monsters. I love you."

"I love you too, angel." Zayn said and pressed a warm and minty scented kiss, courtesy of his tea, to Ameera's forehead.

"Daddy, wait." She called as he was about to get up and held her stuffed bunny towards Zayn.

He bent down again, kissing the stuffed toy. "I love you too, Sir CuddleBottom."

Ameera booped Zayn on the nose softly with her fluffy brown rabbit as means of a kiss. "He says he loves you very much too."

Happily, Zayn rose to his feet and walked out to pull the door half closed. "Goodnight princess." He said one last time from the door frame before he could turn off the light.

"Goodnight dad, sleep well." Ameera said sleepily before rolling over and settling once again, content with life.

×××

Over the past few years it became easier to forget about Harry, no - forget missing Harry, and slowly fall out of love with him and work on his marriage, thus falling back in love with his wife, and having her fall in love with Zayn again, having restored their marriage. He would sometimes wonder how Harry was doing and hoped that he was doing well in life because he deserved it. He had a good, kind heart and Zayn had grown to admire him ... Zayn and Harry may have both fallen out of love with each other, but there's no doubt that they still had a very special place in each others' heart because of how significant they had become. So whether together or apart, Harry Styles would still care and wish for the best for Zayn Malik, wanting nothing more than to see him happy, and the feeling was mutual on Zayn's side and would remain so for the rest of their lives.

×××


End file.
